GirlonaTrain

2010-07-05T15:19:00.009+01:00

Keep Calm and Carry On

2010-06-22T11:10:00.008+01:00

Don't Panic.
My T-Shirt has arrived
Everything is going to be OK.

"I was afraid I'd eat your brains"

2010-05-10T14:37:00.007+01:00

Holy cow! The National write a summertime smash hit pop song.
Sort of.

Conversation 16 - The National

2010-05-08T20:38:00.009+01:00

Not one to gloat, but I can't let this pass without commemoration.

Who knows how long it will be before things get this good again?

2010-04-18T15:20:00.003+01:00

We're still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In the meantime: here's a viaduct and some hazy hills.

2010-02-03T17:57:00.001Z

Walking towards a girl wearing garishly floral tights.
From a distance I thought her legs were covered in crazy tattoos.

2010-02-01T11:19:00.004Z

I love my iPod so much I made a bed for it to sleep on.
I apologise.

2010-01-17T13:20:00.002Z

There's a Rail Replacement Bus Service operating. Possibly.

2010-01-14T15:32:00.001Z

See, it's no good.
Everytime I sit down, take a deep breath and get ready to type ... all the words evaporate.

2010-01-14T15:09:00.002Z

Yup, still here ... bit nippy isn't it?

Untitled #15 (the ice wall) - Cameron Crook

2010-01-10T13:17:00.009Z

Oh dear.

All my comments have gone.

Haloscan did warn me this was going to happen, but I kept putting off doing anything about it. And now, it's too late. I feel a little bereft and a lot stupid.
I would re-activate Blogger comments, but I can't remember where I put them.
The old Creative is finally (reluctantly) being usurped by an iPod touch as well.
Maybe it's a sign.

Time to move on?

If only you could tell me what you think!

Marching On Together

2010-01-03T16:15:00.003Z

Well.
I never expected that!

2009-12-24T09:41:00.009Z

First Christmas in years where I have no control over how it all happens.

You'd think that would be a good thing, right? Unbound by tradition and with no responsibility for other people's enjoyment?

Pah!

I like sleeping in my own bed and knowing what's in the cupboard.
And having Internet access.

So "Happy Christmas" it is then.

"...drinking my vodka and lime"

2009-12-23T20:22:00.039Z

When the card from Bolton arrived and I saw there was a letter enclosed it was with a heartsink that I sought out the signature first.

Two names, still: the letter explaining how his Chemo had gone well although, at their age, these things are not as straightforward as they might be.

They were my Mum & Dad's friends.

And they were good friends. Mostly summer friends. They met at the Club and spent their quality time in the pub. But even when they no longer came to stay at the caravan they kept in touch and visits were made both ways. There weren't all that many people my Mum could be bothered with, but she always had time for them. Then they had that trouble with their daughters - both a few years older than me. What with the youngest marrying that "right wrong 'un" and, inevitably, thankfully, divorcing him a few years later and then her older sister turning out to be "like that", "not that it matters".

Since my Mum died I've inherited her space on their Christmas Card list. For the last couple of years it's been touch and go.

Hazy Shade Of Winter - Simon & Garfunkel
The Christmas Song - Owl City
Fareweel Regality - Rachel Unthank & The Winterset
Goodbye England (Covered In Snow) - Laura Marling

"...do you ever ask yourself, what's she doing tonight?"

2009-11-30T21:02:00.014Z

8.38 Six Minutes Late
... because, when it came to that inevitable moment when there were only the two balls left in the bag I found myself wondering: "Do we really want to beat Kettering? All that much?"

The Whiskey Makes You Sweeter Than You Are - Laura Cantrell
Keep Breathing - Delgados
I Won't Die For You - The Lilac Time
Do You Ever Think Of Me? - Laura Cantrell

"...and he sometimes speaks of you, the way that you want him to"

2009-11-27T20:11:00.007Z

16.45 On Time
OldFishWife is thinking about VR, ThesaurusBoy drives, Lovely goes running at lunchtime and it looks like Leanne's going to get to Arizona before me.

I can't keep up these days.

Two Seconds - Laura Cantrell

2009-11-27T19:47:00.016Z

7.38 Five Minutes Late
I'm struck by the trees.

It's not that I've never seen the trees before but I can't remember being so impressed as I am this morning by the way their skeletons range across the skyline. Far more imposing, leafless, than they've looked during any other season of the year.

Maybe it's a specific confluence of light and mood and weather? Maybe I've never paid enough attention to them before.

*LOW BATTERY*

2009-11-24T18:26:00.005Z

16:53 Thirty Minutes Late
I wonder if that fine rain drifting across the floodlights at the Giant Axe is the closest I'm ever going to get to seeing the Northern Lights?

Rain - Patty Griffin
Crying In The Rain - The Everley Brothers
Rhythm Of The Rain - The Cascades
Fire & Rain - James Taylor

Charmed Life

2009-11-19T19:09:00.063Z

17.41 On Time
A small miracle happens: I have a table seat on the only train in the North West of England currently running to schedule. Opposite are a Dad and his five year old Daughter, who have jumped on board at the last minute.

The Dad goes to stow the luggage on the rack, The Daughter empties out her Polly Pockets and lines up a collection of GoGos on the table. The man next to me really wants to open up his laptop and get on with Something Quite Important, but between us we've managed to engage the little girl in conversation. She tells us she has forty five GoGos and seventy one Polly Pockets but most of them are at home.

We've started moving before the train manager begins his announcement. He tells us that the train is due to arrive in Glasgow on time.

The Daughter informs us that "If you were going to count to ... erm ... two hundred and fifty it would take you ...er... about a thousand years". The patient man in the seat next to me chooses not opening his laptop over snubbing a five year old.

The train manager has not quite finished:

He repeats that tonight there will be additional stops at Penrith and Lockerbie, then delivers the sucker punch - there is no guarantee that the train will get to Penrith or Lockerbie. There is severe flooding (someone whispers that there's a freight train blocking the line, someone else heard that trees were down) he will do the best he can and the M6 is also closed (he says this almost defensively, as though anticipating the "I might as well have driven" remarks he'll face as he walks down the train).

The absence of an outbreak of consternation impresses me.

The Daughter divulges that the Dad is an actor, and she hopes he's going to be the Scarecrow, because he'll have to have straw up his jumper and in his hair. The indulgent man in the seat next to me smiles and abandons his attempt to get a Bit More Work done.

I feel a fraud as I wish them good luck and, standing to leave, confess that I'm only going one stop.

Every Breath You Take

2009-11-10T20:25:00.024Z

17.41 On Time
Have become obsessed with the idea that ShiftyColleague is fiddling his leave. It's not like there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for how he keeps using it all up but still managing to have more days off, or how come he was in the minus yesterday but is in the plus again today.

Am determined to thwart him. Might mean going through his bins, figuratively speaking. Might not be in accordance with RIPA.

Don't tell anyone.

I - Spy - Get Cape Wear Cape Fly
Watching The Detectives - Elvis Costello
Karma Police - John Vanderslice
Creep - Radiohead
Cracking Up - Nick Lowe

2009-11-02T10:10:00.021Z

Met C's New(ish)Bloke at the weekend. I met C at the school gates, got to know her over mornings of coffee and evenings of wine. I was at school with New(ish) Bloke, in the sense that he was in the year above me, but our paths had never crossed. We had mutual acquaintances and bad backs in common.

He reminded me of what it is I like about people who don't intellectualise every last thing and, as a consequence, are often mistaken for people who think about nothing.

2009-10-25T17:40:00.106Z

At first we weren’t even sure we’d go there at all, it wasn't part of the plan.
Then it was decided, by mutual hardly spoken consent that we’d drive by: just to see. A glance off to the left - a reflection in the rear view mirror, a glimpse through trees - that would be more than enough.

But when we arrived it was Open Day and without hesitation R turned up into the drive and onto the car park, where it used to be all fields. Really, it did. Who even had a car in those days? Maybe that one girl from Devon and the other, who came back for the second term with freshly divorced parents and her own transport.

While prospective students and the parents of prospective students single mindedly sought out the shiny new accommodation blocks and asked their tabard wearing guides tough questions about the state of the art sports science facilities we roamed the empty corridors of the old halls, unchecked, trying really hard to remember anything of significance and almost totally failing.

Except...except that I do remember this particularly seminal staircase, and this view of Stanley and I'm sure the ‘photocopying suite’ was once the entrance to the bar (which, unsurprisingly, is totally ruined - there’s no way you could have a disco in there now. Or spend hour after hour lounging around willing something of significance to happen).

In Southport it was the same - street after street that we might never have walked down before, an unremarkable flat on a road we would never have recognised. Not remembering things was a recurring theme: alternating with sheer wonderment at all those miles we thought nothing of walking in search of a night out or a bag of chips.

No wonder we were thin.
Now, if only we'd understood that.

"sometimes I almost feel, just like a human being"

2009-10-24T11:28:00.009+01:00

For the last sixteen days I haven't felt anything much like anything.

This morning however I am full of the frustration of realising that, if only I hadn't been feeling like shit, I could have spent the last two weeks doing - you know - all kinds of stuff. Instead I sat around under blankets, drinking tea and watching bad westerns. Also, it feels like I wasted Southport - maybe we could treat that one as a practice?

But this morning...no pain killers and no pain. I almost feel, just like a human being.

Lipstick Vogue - Elvis Costello

2009-09-29T22:11:00.010+01:00

8.38 On Time
We did a fifteen minute meditation yesterday. I loved it.

Sometimes chanting is involved, and breathing, and keeping your eyes nine-tenths shut (which is more difficult than you might think) but this one didn’t involve much more than sitting still with our eyes closed emptying our minds.

Sitting still and emptying my mind is a big favourite of mine.

At one point it felt spectacular - like being on the edge of a black hole, peering into infinity, achieving harmony with the universe. Or, more feasibly, being on the point of nodding off.

Garden Ruin - Calexico

"...it's just like Venice, but it's not in Italy"

2009-09-28T18:34:00.019+01:00

17.41 Ten Minutes Late
Horrible journey. Never ending stream of people dragging suitcases wider than the aisle through the train in the vain hope of finding their seat, and me conscious that any one of them could, at any moment, stop by the reserved seat that I've claimed and require me to surrender it to its rightful owner.

Luckily, I'm still just about buzzing from the end of a tricky but ultimately triumphal weekend of activity and social dilemma.

The GregsonOpenMicLancasterSongwritersNightLoveIn threatened to collapse under the weight of it's own popularity as the room filled up with the curious, the enthusiastic and the tiny young people (where did they all come from and weren’t they well behaved? Others could learn). The chairs ran out and the List was packed with performers all of whom wanted to be on at "about half nine, if possible". But with minimal bickering and an amazing amount of goodwill, looping & hollering it only overran by half an hour and no one from behind the bar got cross about it or tutted.

What is so funny 'bout peace love and understanding?

New Zealand Story - Not Every Moment Rules x3

2009-09-15T09:56:00.015+01:00

8.38 On Time
One day last week we went to the cafe in Stanley Park, to kill some time and eat a bacon barm (me, not him). It was much nicer than you'd think, and with the sun shining the way it was, it was almost like being on holiday.

On the wall is a price list from 1973.

In 1973 I would've had the egg & chips (22p), my Mum would've gone for the ham salad (42p) and my Dad would've wanted fish & chips but, on realising they were offering plaice rather than a proper fish, would've changed his mind. For pudding you could have apple pie or ice cream (or apple pie and ice cream if you were really pushing the boat out) and that was pretty much it.

Not that we would've been in Blackpool in 1973. We would've been in Morecambe.
Or Minehead or Barry Island or Ayr. Which is why I really love this book.

The Existence Of Harvey Lord

2009-09-14T21:41:00.011+01:00

17.41 On Time
This morning passed in slow motion. It was all about the 'R' word.
This afternoon we were promised "Nothing will be decided until April, and even then... "

That "even then" just hangs in the air, because no one really believes it can be painless.

Grey Skies and Work Things - The Lilac Time
Welcome To The Working Week - Elvis Costello
Not A Job - Elbow
The Employment Pages - Death Cab For Cutie

2009-09-07T18:21:00.017+01:00

8.38 On Time
A funny thing happened at the weekend. We didn't go home after the gig on Friday. Instead we went 'on' to another place, which wasn't hellish, where there was dancing.

Then we went up in a lift to a room with views.

Blood From Stars - Joe Henry

2009-09-02T18:54:00.058+01:00

17.41 Ten Minutes Late

We don't know if it's the weather or the water, but a definite something has got into people recently.

A call on speakerphone is usually a sign that a conversation is degenerating and that witnesses or assistance might be needed, so we all had the benefit of Mr"I'm going to smash his wife's face in and if I committed murder it wouldn't be my fault, it would be the police's fault for not doing anything about it" . Very calm, totally in control: much more menacing than a ranter. You can leave a ranter to run out of steam, by which time they'll probably apologise and tell you "I'm just really frustrated". This one didn't sound angry - he sounded serious.

Then, later, ThesaurusBoy's caller tried for the sympathy angle by following up the promise of violence with the threat of suicide.

Some people seem to lose all sense of proportion when consumer goods go bad.

By The Time I Get To Phoenix - Glen Campbell
Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
Incident At Conklin Creek - Richmond Fontaine
I Came Here To Say I'm Going Away - Okkervil River

On This Day In History...

2009-08-26T21:53:00.076+01:00

17:41 Fifteen Minutes Late
August 26 1979:"I've got a form from Edge Hill. Shall I fill it in?"

The day the results came out I realised I wouldn't be spending my next three years at the University of East Anglia after all. Mum & Dad were on holiday and, once I'd got the crying out of the way, I realised I didn’t have a clue what I was supposed to do next. The first person I tried to call was my English teacher. Luckily for him, he was unavailable. The second person was my RealBestFriend. Luckily for me, her dad was a head teacher.

Anyway, I filled the form in and was interviewed by a man who reminded me of my of my old maths teacher (which was a Good Thing even though maths was never a strong point although - bearing those results in mind - it turned out that my strong points weren't strong points either).

It's very possible, thinking about it, that they were, at that time, happy to accept anyone and everyone who applied. It would explain a few things. But I'd rather hang on to the belief that what got me in was a vehement antipathy to DH Lawrence and the fact that I owned up to enjoying the 'Peace' in "War & Peace" but being bored by the 'War'.

It's just as well, all things considered, that I didn't make it to East Anglia. I would never have lasted.

2009-08-24T18:42:00.010+01:00

17.41 On Time
Before we went on The Holiday I swore that was it. No more holidays ever. Not planned by me anyhow and that's for sure. Never. No siree.

We've been back for four weeks now. I'm bored. I tried re-arranging the furniture but that was too easy. I need a new project.

So, what's next?

This Is A Low - Blur
The Universal - Blur
To The End - Blur
Out Of Time - Blur

Another Reason I Love The Internet Is...

2009-08-22T22:37:00.005+01:00

Because I thought I'd never hear this again!

2009-08-13T18:07:00.004+01:00

16:44 On Time
A woman in her mid-twenties, wearing a brown leather bomber jacket, sobs silently against her mother's shoulder. After a couple of minutes she wipes her eyes and, arms around her mum's waist, they head for the exit.

Her dad walks a couple of paces behind, doing the only thing he understands right now - carrying the pink suitcase.

Come Undone - The Delgados

2009-08-12T17:35:00.043+01:00

15:52 On Time
Shunned a dying man in order to make a train.

It sounds like something from Earl's list, but it's what I did today.

Had to visit the BoyDentist this afternoon (we're getting on better these days, which is just as well as I'm back again in another four months) and as I was ambling back towards the station it dawned on me that, if I got a move on, I stood a slim chance of catching the next train rather than having to kick my heels for another whole hour.

So, there I was walk-running along the pavement when in the distance I saw a mobility scooter, scooting erratically towards me. As it got closer I recognised it's driver as the shadow of a former colleague, a man I used to work closely with ten years ago. We drew level. He said "Hello." I said "Hello".

I didn't stop, neither did I shout back "Train! Station!Got to..." as some form of explanation. I ran-walked away.

He was never a strapping, rosy complexioned picture of health - more a man constructed entirely from tobacco leaf - but today he was strapped to a tank of oxygen and grey as a squirrel.

He didn't stop either, but that's a feeble excuse isn't it?

"...you call the shots"

2009-08-11T08:03:00.006+01:00

I guess there are some fish that just won't bite.
Am I using the wrong bait? Or fishing the wrong ocean?

"...not my place to know what you feel. I'd like to know, but why should I?"

2009-08-09T16:28:00.029+01:00

I'm curious.
Say you could meet yourself at nineteen?
What's the second thing you'd tell yourself?

Talk Of The Town - The Pretenders
Too Nice To Talk To - The Beat
Electricity - Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
Take Me I'm Yours - Squeeze

2009-08-08T14:05:00.010+01:00

I need to make a compilation CD (mostly) spanning the years 1979 - 1982.
I've got until the second week of October.
You wouldn't think it would be too much of a challenge would you?

Currently, TV21's 'Playing With Fire' is proving elusive.

2009-08-06T21:38:00.031+01:00

16:44 Fifteen Minutes Late
Sometimes I think he must want me to kill him.

One day maybe I will lose control. Leaping over the desk, leaving paper clips and treasury tags in my wake, brandishing an improvised and ineffectual weapon ... Then I remember: that's what he wants.

If I were to staple him to his chair, he would be the winner.

So, I close my ears to the irksome adolescent monologues (alternately whining and boastful) and remember: he is as old as I am, yet he still lives with his parents.

Lose Control - James
Went Crazy - Teardrop Explodes
She's Lost Control - Joy Division
I'm Not Angry - Elvis Costello

2009-08-04T21:52:00.020+01:00

16:44 On Time
Don't panic Lancashire - everything's going to be fine - the new logo's here and it won't cost a penny. Pay no heed to the sceptics! I'm loving that 70's retro font and the slightly mis-alingned Tudor rose, it certainly says "up-to-date" to me.

(Do I need to point out that he's the new leader of the county council?)

Monday - The Jam
Liza Radley - The Jam
Tales Of The Riverbank - The Jam
Dreams Of Children - The Jam
Precious - The Jam

Home from Home

2009-07-27T17:46:00.026+01:00

13.15 PDX On Time
10.10 EWR 1 hr40mins Late
12.55 LHR Missed
Been on a trip to some far flung places.
Saw wide open spaces and bustling towns.
Queued up a bit.

Had a great time, just like in the movies.

"...to whiskey and gin"

2009-07-06T11:34:00.021+01:00

8.38 On Time
Red wine, Guinness, vodka, gin (in error), sloe gin, white wine.
By rights the consequences should be dire.
Improbably nothing is amiss.

Still.

It was.

A lovely, quiet, cool walk home.

The streets were deserted, but for us and the nurses.

The State That I Am In - Belle & Sebastian
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - Postal Service
Until The Night - Billy Joel

2009-07-01T21:36:00.013+01:00

17.41 On Time
It seems unlikely, but I'm sure I know it to be true, that from the window of a National Express Coach pulling into Leeds coach station in 1982 I saw a billboard advert for John Player Special with the slogan "Black Up North".

In my head, right on cue, came the line: "the Northern Lights are in my eyes, they guide me back to you…"

My throat tightened, my eyes burned. Like the billboard almost said I was 'Back Up North.' There are some places you just know you were meant to be, and others where you will never thrive. Although I was still a good hour away from home, once that song started playing in my head I knew that, for a little while at least, I was safe.

They told me they were happy if I was happy, and then undermined it by saying I didn't have to go back if I didn't want to. Walking away, after that weekend, was the most difficult thing I've ever done.

My Mum told me, years later, she'd always felt she should've stopped me.

Of course, she wouldn't have been able to.

Northern Lights - Renaissance

2009-07-01T20:59:00.005+01:00

8.38 On Time
I'm a perfectionist.
If I do something I don't want it to be the best that I can do, I want it to be the best that anyone can do.

It's why I never do anything.

You're The Best Thing - Style Council
You Can Do Better Than Me - Death Cab For Cutie
My Very Best - Elbow
Best Imitation Of Myself - Ben Folds Five

2009-06-30T18:13:00.005+01:00

16.53 Thirty Minutes Late
Five years.
So it wouldn't be surprising if I was running out of steam.

Hold Time - M Ward

2009-06-16T19:27:00.023+01:00

17.41 On Time
The pissed-up Scot opposite hails everyone who passes his seat with an incomprehensible greeting. Other than that, he's no bother.

The dapper man who sits down next to me has the white hair and beard of a not-quite-incognito Father Christmas. He takes out his phone and begins to compose a text. He decides "Sorry I was grumpy" is too much of an admission and changes it to "I'm sorry if you thought I was grumpy".

It seems to do the trick anyway. Both of them look forward to him getting home.

Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan
Richard Pryor Addresses A Tearful Nation - Joe Henry
City Middle - The National
Tea And Sympathy - Janis Ian

2009-06-15T22:56:00.080+01:00

I'm beginning to wonder if there's some kind of bye-law operating in Lancaster requiring that, before you're allowed to put on an event, you first have to be called 'Richard'. Anyway, Friday was the final 'LAWM' .

I was only half-joking at the end of Dan Haywood's New Hawks when I said that was probably the most fun we were going to get all night. I'm coming round to the New Hawks: plenty to watch, occasional tunes, light & shade. Next up, Mary Hampton held the room in the palm of her tiny hand and sang about some spine-tingling scary sounding stuff that I didn't quite understand but was hypnotised by all the same.

It is desperately ungrateful to say it, but actually, two bands a night is probably enough for me - although if I'm sitting down I can sometimes enjoy three. It's all about engaging. For me, Mary Hampton did it, Diane Cluck didn't. Alasdair Roberts attempted it but struggled with the language barrier. Dan Haywood does it - although, I did get an uneasy feeling that he'd really rather be doing it with himself.

Anyway, had a good night, met a fellow Cheesehead and, until Richard comes back in his new incarnation, guess we'll just have to make do with Richard and Richard.

"...it's four in the morning and everyone said that she'd taken some asprin and gone back to bed"

2009-06-14T20:40:00.040+01:00

Although it wasn't so much gone back to bed.

My phone rang (which, of itself, is an unusual occurrence) and the question was: how did I feel about spending an evening playing games I wouldn't understand with some people I didn't know?

It's the kind of question that would normally cause distress. I'd need ten days for the panic to subside enough to allow me to even consider such a proposition but - I don't know what came over me - I had to say it sounded like a great idea to me!

It seemed to work out OK. And Sundays were made for struggling through, right? I'd forgotten that.

Not Every Moment Rules - New Zealand Story

2009-06-08T07:22:00.003+01:00

I voted. I thought it would be enough. It wasn't.
I feel ashamed.

"...bruised black and blue"

2009-06-07T11:31:00.053+01:00

What with the way things have been kicking off lately I'm a bit reluctant to express any opinions on any of the recent audio visual experiences I've been having. Maybe I should stick to: 'all this culture - it's exhausting'.

I was already a bit concerned that last night's event was going to be less easy to love than John Bramwell's Yorkshire House performance - which was pure joy (and he did do 'Black and Blue' and (in my head) it was because I asked for it (I know others were shouting for it too, but I like to think adding 'please' made the difference)).

It was an ambitious programme - Belly dancing, Dada, 'Improvised' 'comedy' (that's just asking for trouble), spoken word, sensitive singer songwriting and Mikey Kenny But, aside from the dour poetry, I enjoyed it all. I think the German was my favourite.

Something needs to be done about those annoyingly noisy doors and the audible hand dryers though.

2009-06-05T21:03:00.049+01:00

17.41 On Time
Feel like shit again.

My head's all over the place – can’t concentrate – can’t focus – can’t be off sick due to the three line whip – so I’m rambling instead ... and thinking about stick insects.

I wasn’t allowed pets as a child, so the pets I did have were unavoidably imposed. The first was 'Twinkle', named after the comic. A goldfish given to me as a birthday present by the woman my mum cleaned for. The fish, the bowl, the coloured stones for the bottom of the bowl. No other ornamentation. I can’t remember being especially thrilled to have been given a fish. When she (?) died I’m pretty sure my dad flushed her (?) down the toilet. I don’t remember being overwhelmed by grief.

The next thing was the stick insects. I can’t remember who they came from. Was it someone at school or maybe even the school themselves, desperately trying to give the wretched things away and stupid me being dumb enough to be keen to have them. Why? What was I thinking? They ‘lived’ - for want of a better word - in a coffee jar and ate privet culled from Grandma & Grandad’s hedge. When I eventually became bored with them I released them into that privet hedge to an almost certain death. I don’t feel remorseful, even today.

The third pet I wasn’t allowed was a mouse. Patrick (I was into a big horse racing phase at the time) was much more interesting. He was given to me by my best friend, TheVegetarian, and I saved up my own pocket money to buy him an aspirational, state-of-the-art mouse cage from my Mum’s Freemans catalogue. I'd had him for a couple of years, then he went to stay with my best friend, TheVegetarian, while we were on holiday. When we got back he was dead. She said his cage had been in their greenhouse and, somehow, some wild mice had "got at him" and he had died. It sounded a bit odd at the time and it sounds even more suspicious now. Although I was sad when it happened, I was also a bit relieved that I wasn't the one to have to have discovered the body .

During the years we don’t mention there were a couple of unpleasant hamsters, a half-wild black rabbit, an unfortunate semi-feral tabby and … I might be going crazy, but, I’m sure at one point, for a brief time there was a goat – how could I not know if that was true? I don’t know…but hiding a goat on some waste ground and then building a shelter for it and, ultimately, ‘giving it away' to a school comes to mind. There was definitely a shelter building episode. And it wasn’t even a nanny: there was no milk, just an evil-eyed billy-goat wtf??? Anyway, none of them were my idea.

Jess was my idea.
My only proper pet ever and sometimes I think: should we get another cat?
But I don’t think we ever will.

XO - Elliott Smith

2009-06-04T21:42:00.020+01:00

17:00 On Time
As I try to work out how to express the sentiment: 'please, just sort this thing out, otherwise I'll have to actually read the four page letter I'm enclosing and work out for myself what’s gone on and then explain to you why you need to fix it, so please just do it now and save us both some time' only in not those exact words, I bat a squeezy rubber stress-ball from hand to hand. It's not really necessary. The letter isn't all that difficult, but it makes it look as though I'm struggling, having to think things through, means I can spend longer doing a job that should take five minutes tops.

To make it look even more serious I'm using my glasses again, which I don't really need for the screen, but I do so enjoy looking over the top of them, especially at ThinksHe'sAllThat, I think it unnerves him. At least I hope it does. Taking a break between paragraphs I hold the stress ball against my bottom lip, giving the impression of a person deep in thought.

When I was about nine years old, for Christmas, I got a huge, rubber, bendy Pink Panther. It smelled fabulous. Sometimes I was tempted to take small bites from it and, in the same way, I’m tempted to bite the stress ball now.

Eventually it perished.

Veckatimest - Grizzly Bear

2009-06-03T17:48:00.018+01:00

16.44 On Time
This afternoon I found myself composing a reply to an email that hasn’t been sent yet. An answer to a question I haven’t been asked. But then that’s nothing new. Most of my conversations don’t make it outside my head. The overlap is scary.

Afternoons are when I succumb. When I have least resistance. Yesterday I found myself making a list of names which I now seem to have misplaced, scarily enough - if it turns up in the wrong hands I may need all my powers of invention.

Afternoons are where I’m tempted to put my glasses on and pretend to be much busier than I actually am. When I have nothing at all to do I make sure I'm wearing the glasses, so I can gaze into the middle distance in a way that makes it look as though I’m seeking inspiration and pondering really important things and not just staring at nothing and having conversations in my head. Which is most likely the case.

Which is most likely the case?

Wrecking Ball - Cranes & Crows
Interstate 5 - The Wedding Present
Inner Flight - Primal Scream

2009-06-01T18:48:00.003+01:00

8.38 Eight Minutes Late
A man on the train keeping notes in a Moleskine.
I’m jealous of the weight of his fibre tip and the firm flowing lines his fine black nib is making on the cream paper.

Pen envy.

"...first night of your life, curled up on your own, looking at you now..."

2009-05-25T20:23:00.022+01:00

Songs that unexpectedly ambush you?

First, TheYoungerBoy rings up to say he's on a waiting list for eye surgery and he's scared.
Later, we're in the pub when a song comes on that, at first, doesn't even register.
Then it does register and then, there it is:

- that line -

And I'm standing, helpless
Outside the SCBU
Not listening to explanations.
Looking down into that incubator...

Wires - Athlete

"I think I've behaved, if I may say so, impeccably"

2009-05-23T14:33:00.012+01:00

Just in case (unlikely as it is) the thought that, maybe, the Tories are not so bad after all should ever creep into your mind - listen again:

"And I'd've gotten away with it too if it weren't for that meddling Labour Government and its pesky Freedom of Information Act."

2009-05-22T19:47:00.084+01:00

16.44 Eight Minutes Late.
I'm realising it's taken me all week to get over Monday night.
Which is maybe why I'm more crotchety than I have any right to be, given that it's a Friday afternoon, and a Bank Holiday Weekend.

Because, as I try to board the train, I'm disproportionately niggled by the pair, already ensconced, who have decided to pick this precise moment to remove their luggage from the rack and open it up, rooting about for something that has become suddenly vital, thus blocking the wave of commuters attempting to take their rightful place on the early train home.

Eventually they sense the disgruntlement eddying towards them and get out of the damn way. I'm able to bag a forward facing window seat and it looks as though I'm going to get it all to myself, until the last minute when ... she flumps down next to me again, immediately expanding over the divide. Our elbows, like knitting needles, engage furiously for a few seconds, then I concede and shrink away. I can't bear her intrusion. Or her perfume which is so cloying I can taste it. She cannot sit still, again. During the fifteen minute journey she searches her bag fifteen times.

As we leave the train I rescue the woman behind me who falls victim to the game of Oranges & Lemons the Pendolino plays daily and finds herself pinioned by the door, arms at her sides, unable to reach the button and free herself. If it'd been her I would have left her stuck there until Glasgow.

Sometimes I should rein in my inner curmudgeon.

The Bitter End - Placebo

2009-05-20T20:00:00.009+01:00

17.41 Seven Minutes Late
Best thing I read all day:

“Satellite UK Ltd recently sold their assets and data base to Satellite & Digital Ltd. Satellite UK customers were supposed to get a letter explaining the changes within 30 days of the takeover.
Payments will now appear on their bank statements to Satan”

Still not sure if it was a typo or a S&D Ltd employee with a sense of humour.

I Am Kloot - I Am Kloot

"...too much time gone by and I can't find you if I try"

2009-05-17T17:27:00.038+01:00

I didn't catch the start of the conversation, but it sounded as though ukuleleleboy's Nick Drake related moaning had inspired djwrighty to compose the BT Broadband couple a song of their very own. (I especially like "I'm going to Cornwall this weekend... I may be some time")

The rest of the night was the traditional curate's egg.
But it did what it said on the tin.

Too Much Time - John Vanderslice
Western Skies - Roddy Frame
Western Sky - American Music Club
Northern Sky - Nick Drake

2009-05-13T20:09:00.038+01:00

17.41 Ten Minutes Late
There are such a lot of birthdays at this time of year.
It’s not something I want to dwell on but my mum did (towards the end, when she'd decided she might as well finish off the half bottles of anything left in the drinks cabinet because, as the Doctor told her, it couldn't do any harm) tell me that I was conceived in Ilfracombe.

So, I probably owe my existence to the fact that my Mum finally persuaded my Dad they could do better than another holiday touring Scotland and sleeping in the van, and got him to blow the budget on a West Country B&B.

If it’s yours today – Happy Birthday. Was it Butlins or Bournmouth? Abersoch or Abroad?

(And speaking of baps, I'm not sure about this top. It's fine in soft focus sepia, but in real life? I just don't know if I can pull it off... )

This Old Heart Of Mine - Isley Brothers
Fly Like An Eagle - Steve Miller Band
Absent Friends - Divine Comedy
Alone Again, Or - Love

2009-05-12T12:40:00.013+01:00

It's another glorious day and I'm off work again.
You would think it's the perfect day to go out shopping and be a bit extravagant maybe.

It's a glorious day and I'm off work.
It's Tuesday morning so it won't be too busy.
What better time to amble round the shops idly picking things up and putting things down.

It's a glorious day.
I'm off work.
It's Tuesday morning so it won't be too busy
And it's my birthday.

I come back with a bag of bird seed and some wholemeal baps.

Life In A Northern Town

2009-05-08T17:59:00.058+01:00

8.38 On Time
I’ve got a bit of a headache now but that’s the tiredness not the wine. Although it’s true we can’t handle it like we used to: and I wasn’t that good at handling it then.

We tried to remember what it was we'd seen in him.

Then we tried to work out who the 'Cool Girls' had been, but didn’t get far.
We didn't think we could remember much at all, except...walking for miles trying to find some party or other, popping out to The Zetland for the last hour, those prawn crackers from The Joy Garden. The bowl of fat under the sink, the empty milk bottles everywhere and that bedroom being freezing.

Trudging up and down St Helens Road in all weathers and at all hours.
The drama studio, The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, The Grapes of Wrath and Quiet Flows The Don. Watching FirstRoomMate scribbling notes about 'Henry Gibson' and being almost sure she was getting it wrong. Never ever getting the hang of diphthongs. Or the phonetic alphabet.

And whatever did happen to J’s sister’s shoes?

We tried to remember what it was we’d seen in him, and had to agree that we couldn’t even imagine it … maybe we'll have ourselves a proper reunion come the autumn. If we can get our acts together.

Crash - The Primitives
I Can't Stand Up... - Elvis Costello
Walk Away Renee - Billy Bragg
Tiny Voices - Joe Henry
Life In A Northern Town - Dream Academy

2009-05-07T18:12:00.022+01:00

17.41 On Time
Because I read Blake Morrison's birthday card to Alan Bennett at lunchtime (alright, so it was a little after lunch time, but it's been quiet again today) ThesaurusBoy had to put up with a couple of hours of me trying to remember the name of the man who was in the chip shop at the time of the Kestrel incident in 'Writing Home'. Not for any good reason, just because I knew I knew it and knew I'd forgotten.

It came to me eventually. Then I Googled to make sure.

The chip shop in the Kestrel incident is the one we used to go to on Thursday nights, after Brownies, for a bag of chips & scraps. Not every Thursday mind, if it'd been every Thursday it wouldn't have been a treat would it?

The chip shop, back then (when it was good), was owned by relatives of the ManWhoPreferredSherbertStrawberries.

There isn't a punch line. Just history.

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
Guest List - Eels
Isn't It A Lovely Night? - The Decemberists
Our Little Angel - Elvis Costello

"...we'll run like we're awesome, totally genius"

2009-05-04T18:11:00.029+01:00

Generally speaking I tend towards 'hell for leather' rather than "wisely and slow".

When something needs doing - and it's something I'm keen to do - I want to wake early and get up early and start the job and keep at it until either it's finished or I am. The ultimate reward is that "so tired, so hungry, so much in need of a shower...so earned that beer" feeling.

I know there are other ways to approach a task.
More relaxed ways that encompass tea breaks and a bit of a sit down. Pacing yourself, maybe going away and doing something else for an hour or so and coming back to it later refreshed.
I'm not saying these ways are wrong ways, but they're not my ways.

Discovered another wall this weekend. This one's going to be more of a challenge. My arms hurt.

Alligator - The National

2009-04-28T22:00:00.009+01:00

8.38 On Time
Standing in a bookshop behind the man from the Guardian drinking wine from a plastic cup listening to a handful of local performers doing their thing on a tiny stage.

On a Monday evening.

Songs To Say I Sung - Jo Gillot

2009-04-23T19:49:00.129+01:00

17.53 On Time
As with so many things I brought it on myself.

Not only did I allow the thought: "Hmmm, what a lot of nice, reasonable people I've been dealing with lately" enter my conscious mind but I forgot to turn my phone off at five and picked up the call that came through at five past.

When the answer I gave him didn't tally with the answer he wanted me to give him (and following a lively exchange of views culminating in him resorting to calling me "Dear"- you know they're on the ropes at that point) he demanded to speak to ExLineManager. Presumably in the mistaken belief that this would intimidate me into changing my answer (the correct one) into his answer (the incorrect one). It didn't.

I sometimes wonder why I bother. What does it matter anyway? Why can't I just agree?

I could say: "Oh, you know, now I've had another think, yes, the law is exactly the opposite of what I just said it was. Turns out you're 100% right! I don't know why you bothered asking me in the first place! What do I know about it?"

After all it's no skin off my nose is it? I'm not going to be the one wasting money on court fees. In fact, if he rings back tomorrow, I think that's exactly what I will do.

Show Me How The Spectres Dance - Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family

2009-04-21T20:10:00.012+01:00

16.44 Thirty Five Minutes Late
I think we've all got our fingers crossed for Thursday.
Dreading it being an elaborate hoax on his part: "Ha Ha, fooled you! I'm going nowhere!"

And, then, he might not get it.
Or, worse, he might get it but not take it.
How about that thought?

Sultans Of Swing - Dire Straits
Shine - Laura Marling
Last Call - Elliott Smith
Never My Love - The Association

"...while my head spins, and you knew it would"

2009-04-19T21:10:00.112+01:00

I don't know if I'm really allowed to say this or not but, MyOwnTrueLove and I met through the NME personal ads. I think it's romantic but he's always kept a bit ... well ... quiet ... about it.

Before we ever met I knew we had a pretty good chance of 'hitting it off' due to the judicious exchange of compilation tapes that had supplemented the letters and...phone calls. One track from his first offering (The Lilac Time - 'Love Becomes A Savage') has since become so essential to my life that I hardly ever stop to think back to that pivotal "Who is this?" moment when I first became aware of it's existence.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled across Sinead O'Connor's 'Troy' via Spotify. This one I remembered, but hadn't heard in years. And yes - the hairs on the back of my neck still stand up.

Also on there was 'Black and Blue' by Johnny Dangerously, a track I've spent this week YouTubing and crossing my fingers that John Bramwell will be performing when we see him in Lancaster in May.

And now, this very evening, (thanks to The Vinyl Villain) I've been re-introduced, after years of oblivion, to 'Skin Storm' (both versions!)

Looking back: how could I have failed to have been pre-seduced?

Skin Storm - Morrissey
Love Becomes A Savage - The Lilac Time
Troy - Sinead O'Connor
Skin Storm - Bradford

Switching Off

2009-04-16T20:21:00.004+01:00

16.53 Five Minutes Late
Other people's noise in my head.
All day.
Used Guy Garvey to block it out at lunchtime.

Didn't last long.

Indian Summer - Ben Gibbard
Sunken Waltz - Calexico
146 Degrees - Cinerama
Carparts - The Long Winters

What Do You Want The Girl To Do?

2009-04-15T18:02:00.021+01:00

16.44 Four Minutes Late
When ExLineManager asked if I'd go undercover for him - and once I'd established that there were no strings and no commitment would be required - I agreed pretty sharpish. It's been a while since I did anything even vaguely double-entendreish in the workplace and you need to grab your fun where you can.

Providing he doesn't lose his nerve there'll be more fun on Friday, when he mischievously slaps a fixed penalty notice on the new boss.

What Do You Want The Girl To Do - Lowell George
What Do You Want The Girl To Do - Boz Scaggs
What Do You Want The Girl To Do - Allen Toussaint

2009-04-15T17:57:00.003+01:00

8.38 On Time
First thing I did yesterday morning was write "LIBRARY" on a post-it note to stick to my monitor, to remind me to go to the library on the way home. Later on, in the afternoon, I wrote "LIBRARY" on my hand, so as not to forget to go to the library on my way home.

Yesterday evening: I went to the library on my way home.

Sometimes things go exactly according to plan.

The Hazards Of Love - The Decemberists

2009-04-14T09:00:00.029+01:00

8.38 On Time
Before I get into work there's this one thing that everyone should know: I'd really rather you didn't ask about Easter. Asking may oblige me to tell and, I promise, you don't want to know.

The worst thing about it is that she brings out my inner fourteen year old - all sulks and sublimation and righteous indignation. The best thing is the discovery that the '24 hour' allergy pills I bought by mistake instead of the ‘one every four hour’ ones are really effective. Not that I was having trouble with an allergy, as such, but I discovered that they leave me feeling serene and distanced and slightly numb. Magic.

My regret? That I can never go back to the magical place that was: not knowing anything at all about "Doc Martin". Or UnclePaul'sMum's bladder cancer.

Hacking back that ivy was very satisfying though.

The Hazards Of Love - The Decemberists

"...but my only desire is to be recognized ... by you"

2009-04-09T20:22:00.019+01:00

16.53 Eight Minutes Late
This has been a crap week work wise.

Nothing bad has happened. I'm on top of my 'caseload'. I've had some nice chats with some nice people who I'll never, ever have to meet face to face. GirlieBoss has been off all week. ExLineManager gave us each a tube of mini eggs. The trains were on time (mostly). Plus it's a four day week - what more do you want?

Just....I don't know...some vague hope that, one day, things might be...well, less crap? It's only what we were promised, after all.

Bish - Stephen Bishop

2009-04-03T17:23:00.011+01:00

16.44 On Time
The man who stands outside the halls of residence in the morning, leaning on a shovel and watching the trains go by, was standing outside the halls of residence watching the trains go by with a small child perched on his shoulders this afternoon.

It must be 'take your toddler to work' day.

(This Is) The Dream Of Evan & Chan - Ben Gibbard
Paint It Black - Rolling Stones
Under The Blacklight - Rilo Kiley
Girl On A Train - Idiot Johnson

2009-04-01T17:42:00.027+01:00

16.44 On Time
It seems that dentists, generally, are not very highly regarded.
My experience of them hasn't been all bad. I've had a couple whose opinion I valued and whose verdicts I trusted. Not for some considerable time though.

Yesterday's appointment was at 16.45. I arrived at the surgery just before twenty to and, after a couple of minutes wait, was called in. By 16.45 I found myself standing at the reception hatch forking out £16.20 and wondering what just happened???

What had happened was that I'd had a 'gum check up'. This consisted of the TwelveYearOldAllegedDentist sticking a sharp object into my gums, in a couple of places, and then announcing that I needed to come back next week "for a full examination".

I did remonstrate, believe me.

Questions such as "Why can't you do it now?" were met by a perplexed stare. The hygienist spoke for him "It can take up to half an hour". Fair enough, but by my reckoning I've still got fifteen minutes left on this appointment, so why don't we make a start now and see how far we get?

But no, for reasons I still don't fully understand, it doesn't work like that. I'm supposed to go back next week.

Because I haven't changed dentists since moving house it's all a bit of a trek.
What with the trains and everything the trip from work, to dentist, then home took four and a half hours.

I'm not going back next week. What's the worst that can happen?

Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie
Teeth In the Grass - Iron & Wine
Skin And Teeth - Joe Henry
Sea Of Teeth - Sparklehorse

"...I will never say the word 'procrastinate' again"

2009-03-29T12:29:00.050+01:00

A couple of things came out of our last trip to Lakeland: the whole lico-rish / lico-rice debate and the rehabilitation of the poached egg.

Over the years we've had plenty of attempts at egg poaching. The results have ranged from disappointing to disastrous. Lovely swears by centrifugal force, but I've tried 'swirl it in a pan with some vinegar' enough to know that, even when executed correctly, it's not for me. I want my poached eggs to be perfect half moons of buttery eggyness - not whirling tendrils of watery egg-based protein.

I even let the opportunity to inherit my Mum's aged but still perfectly functional poaching pan pass me by because "we never eat poached eggs". In my defence I probably wasn't at my most clear thinking at the time.

Anyhow, those days are gone, thanks to Lakeland and the most fabulous application of technology I've come across since...well, Spotify probably.

Flood - They Might Be Giants

2009-03-27T18:41:00.003Z

16.53 On Time
So, perhaps it wasn't very Corporate of me to have said that if ExLineManager were a doctor he'd struggle with his bedside manner, but I did also say he'd get the diagnosis spot on.

The Hazards Of Love - The Decemberists

2009-03-23T14:16:00.026Z

It might seem that I've taken the day off to listen to the new Decemberists album. Especially in light of other recent Decemberists related impulse buying madness. But it's not so, it's just a happy coincidence.

Anyway, earlier on, I was in Sainsbury's stocking up on crumpets and seasonal veg. The man in front of me at 'ten items or fewer' was chatting to the chap on the till (the chap on the till at 'ten items or fewer' is always very chatty) and as he turned to leave the man said: "Right I'm off for a pint now. Can't wait. Haven't had a drink in four days". As an afterthought he added: I'm not an alcoholic or anything".

When he'd gone, the chap on the till looked at me and we shared the thought: "...it's a bit early for me...."

It was twenty past nine.

The Hazards Of Love - The Decemberists

"...just a girl who can't say no"

2009-03-20T18:15:00.031Z

16.44 Six Minutes Late
Finished the chocolates this afternoon.
They had lasted three days, which is pretty good in our office. Although that may have been because I was rationing them quite severely.

As soon as I'd got them upstairs I realised I hadn't made enough of an effort to refuse - not even the most perfunctory of 'Oh, no really, you shouldn't have's. I could see what was in the bag, I wanted it: I'm not good at dissembling.

But, technically, we're not permitted to accept gifts. We're supposed to put up at least a show of resistance and not leave ourselves open to 'Council Officials in Chocolate Corruption Scandal' accusations.

Expect 'ThorntonsGate' to follow.

Jupiter & Teardrop - Grant Lee Buffalo
Bixby Canyon Bridge - Death Cab For Cutie
I Went With Some Friends To See The Flaming Lips - Benji Hughes
Some Things Last A Long Time - Daniel Johnston

2009-03-19T11:57:00.003Z

7.57 On Time
IntimidatingGermanWoman smiled! With her eyes!
I’m slightly in shock, but put it down to an aberration induced by the spectacularly mild weather and the glorious sunshine.

Also, had a bit of a think and must remember to tell ThesaurusBoy to disregard all the ‘advice’ I’ve been giving him about ‘dating’ and ‘relationships’ over the last few weeks. Must also tell him why, or he will think I am simply looking for an excuse not to listen.

Minor Works – J Tillman

2009-03-18T09:33:00.002Z

8.38 Three Minutes Late
Eating breakfast while watching National Rail Enquires ‘real time running’ refresh in the corner of the screen is very relaxing and just a little hypnotic.
It hasn’t yet happened that I’ve watched the train virtually pull into the station and leave, on time, without me on it, but it’s a definite maybe.

Grass - XTC
In Iverna Gardens - The Lilac Time
Ragged Wood - Fleet Foxes
Wild Wood - Paul Weller

"...just to thank you one more time, for everything you've done"

2009-03-17T18:58:00.018Z

16.53 Nine Minutes Late
Friday was the night I was worried about, so why did Saturday have to turn round and stab me in the back like that?

Still trying to work out why I can't work out where the 'off' switch is.

Don't Mix Your Drinks - Elbow
All The Wine - The National
Alcoholiday - Teenage Fanclub
Alcohol - Gogol Bordello

"...all we care about is talking, talking only me and you"

2009-03-13T22:23:00.028Z

21.45 On Time
So, pissed blogging? Yes or no? Probably "no" is for the best.

Only, being ThesaurusBoy's birthday, a round of 'pin the age on...' was unavoidable. This is a dangerous game, even when no actual sharp implements are involved. It invariably results in someone getting hurt and disproving that old 'sticks and stones may break my bones...' cliche. I'm so used to it not being me I don't know how I'll cope when the inevitable happens.

It was interesting to discover ThinksHe'sAllThat likes Eels though. I'd never have guessed. And when was the last time I went out 'on my own'? It seems like forever.

Oh, La - Ra Ra Riot
Modern Mystery - Someone Still Loves You Bosis Yeltsin
Kids - MGMT
Young Folks - Peter, Bjorn & John

"...we've got to get out of this place ... we've got to get out of Yorkshire"

2009-03-11T21:46:00.070Z

[Special TV Episode]
I don't know what Yorkshire ever did to David Peace, but I'm bloody glad it never did it to me.

I girded my loins, gritted my teeth and finally sat down to watch Red Riding, and I'm so glad I did (it explains those "sad sweet dreamer red riding" Google searches for a start). It also proves you should always face your fears: the reality is never as bad as your imagination.

Perhaps knowing where it was headed robbed it of suspense, or perhaps there was no suspense, I'm open to debate on that one. All I know is, an hour in, when Sean Bean appeared (I will also concede the white polo neck - my dad had one just like it) things picked up so much that I got to thinking maybe he had a sort of point.

'Don't rock the boat son, everyone's happy. So what if a few kids go missing? Nobody's perfect!'

Paula love, Unsteady Eddie was never your knight in shining armour, despite his promise to 'take you South' (or was that a euphemism?) where the breeze is warm. And how come he suddenly learned how to throw a puch when he'd spent the previous 110 minutes being beaten up? We'll leave the shooting aside for now.

It was nowhere near as grim as I expected, and a whole lot sillier. Although maybe that's partly because I'd watched the Miner's Strike programme on BBC4 on Monday. Now that was harrowing. Anyway, what a relief - now I don't need to read the rest of them! (Probably). Will watch tomorrow's episode without fear (probably).

The Luke Haines song is still brilliant though.

Leeds United - Luke Haines
Sad Sweet Dreamer - Sweet Sensation
Costafine Town - Splinter
Daniel - Elton John

Silence is Golden

2009-03-10T22:29:00.019Z

17.41 On Time
Twitter has made me redundant.
Well, Twitter, Spotify and Virgin Trains combined.
I might not get the time to collect thoughts anymore, but I can witter whenever I feel the urge - and who needs a playlist these days?

See, I've got a whole sackload of things from today waiting to be tipped out: Miners Strike, tarpaulin result, OldFishWife=Great GrandMa shock, BMW/PersonalisedNumberplateGitGuy, K's bad day, WTF???

That's as close as it's going to get. Never mind eh?

"...railway station, train on the eastbound track"

2009-03-09T19:47:00.023Z

8.38 Five Minutes Late
We're the wrong way round and going backwards without a window.

The man opposite is so busy he's making me dizzy.
He's surrounded by stationery. As fast as he puts one bundle of papers away he's pulling out another. He stuffs a green A4 file into his briefcase then produces a ledger from a carrier bag, punches numbers into a calculator - so fast it must be at random - but writes the answers down, in snaking columns, anyway.

It's Monday morning.
He can't keep this up. He'll be burned out by Wigan North Western, never mind Tuesday.

Bank Holiday Monday - Stephen Duffy
Monday Morning 5.19 - Rialto
Monday - The Jam
Monday, Monday - The Mamas and the Papas

We love it when our friends become successful!

2009-03-07T10:57:00.009Z

It's Jo! On Steve Lamacq!

2009-03-06T18:40:00.020Z

8.38 Three Minutes Late
I have several colleagues who regularly hoard their annual leave and then, in March, don't come to work at all. It seems like such a waste. Not that the idea of taking a whole month off doesn't appeal (and nothing against March, as such) but if you're choosing a month to spend away from work it's got to be May or June or, at a pinch, September.

Also, to take March off means you've gone through the entire leave year turning things down, never luxuriating in a long weekend, and thinking: "Oh well, only another 273 days to go and it'll be March again..."

In the 'current climate' it also hints at dispensability.

Not Even Jail - Interpol
Sad Sweet Dreamer - Sweet Sensation
Human Remains - Tom McRae
Do What You Gotta Do - Four Tops

2009-03-05T19:01:00.013Z

17.41 On Time
Seems like everyone’s talking about 'Red Riding'.

I feel I should watch it, but after my experience of '1974' I’m not sure I’m up to it. Unlike 'The Wire' there will be no humour, no hints of redemption, nothing but a nasty taste and possibly a whole new set of unsettling images to go with the ones already stashed in the David Peace cupboard of grimness.

I’ll probably do what people usually do – record it to watch when I’m ‘in the mood’ and then, strangely, never be 'in the mood'.

Let me know if it's any good...

Merriweather Post Pavilion - Animal Collective

2009-03-04T17:43:00.012Z

16:44 On Time
What were they thinking? The rest of the country may be over-subscribed but we need a decent Mexican in Lancaster! They could've at least confiscated his recipes before sending him back!

Damn fools.

The Rhumb Line - Ra Ra Riot

"...brainy brainy brainy"

2009-02-24T18:03:00.022Z

16.44 On Time
I thought the whole point of University Challenge was to answer as many questions as you could, as quickly as you could, and to give as many right answers as possible.

Turns out maybe not, if you're a girl.

I started off applying the 'furthest north/not Oxbridge' rule and cheered on Manchester. Especially the normal looking lad on the end who was obviously only there in case any sport/popular culture questions came up (when Paxo pronounced the music question to be 'classical' the poor sap visibly wilted).

Anyway, their captain was pretty much carrying them, so what's the big deal when the girl finally gets into her stride and starts hitting that buzzer?

*UPDATE* Common sense prevails.

And for the sake of completeness....

Brainy - The National
Get Smart - Cinerama
Beaten To The Punch - Elvis Costello
Lost - The Cure

"...what really matters is what you like, not what you are like"

2009-02-19T11:34:00.005Z

8.38 On Time
While delving back to find some proof of exactly how much half a cider used to cost I came across:

Feb 19th 1981
"Yesterday I bought Talking Heads and he bought The Stray Cats".

I should have been warned.

2009-02-18T17:49:00.005Z

16:44 On Time
As rash statements go telling your toddler that, while the juice has run out and the crisps have run out "the tickles will never run out" is a bit of a hostage to fortune.

Sure enough, before we draw up to the platform, the tickles are over.

"...but we seemed to grow up in a bus shelter"

2009-02-18T11:49:00.014Z

7.38 On Time
I loved The Jam. Even if I didn't always get the lyrics right.

At first I luurved Bruce Foxton best - not sure why, was it about the hair? did it remind me of Eric out of the Bay City Rollers? But then, I only liked Eric because his favourite book was 'Lord of the Rings', it was nothing to do with his hair, so it makes no sense - but, on realising where the talent lay, quickly transferred my affections. They broke up before I could fall out of love, which is a smart move.

It perturbs me that Paul Weller appears to be a bit of an arse. However, I asked Google and the results were inconclusive.

Setting Sons - The Jam

"...that I was on fire for you"

2009-02-18T04:28:00.020Z

We're both awake at 3:00am, but this is not about apportioning blame. He tells me he's been dreaming about Jeff Stelling Twittering about Chewits which, and I think it's to my credit, I'm able to find funny.

At 4:00am the cough mixture appears to be working and, were it not for the frustrating fragment of a song rattling around my head, there's no reason why I shouldn't be asleep again soon. I chase it round and round, tantalisingly close to grabbing the tail of the line. I'm almost there - no - it vanishes. I repeat the seven words I've got and then 'something something something' as the chorus disappears round the bend.

I overtake a couple more words "something 'Poet's Rest'" and am suddenly confident that it won't get away now. One final circuit and I've caught up:

"...well, if you must, you must, I suppose that...."

As I begin to relax on the home straight, a gentle snoring begins.

"you need the sleep of the just..."

Sleep Of The Just - Elvis Costello

2009-02-17T19:39:00.016Z

14:53 Thirty Minutes Late
Compensating for the fact that lunch was nothing special The Course finished early.

It wasn't bad. I didn't scribble anything snide, or even doodle much, on my Holiday Inn notepad. Oh, unless "Future Proofing!!!!" counts. But that was ExLineManager.

The Trainer knew both what he was talking about and who he was talking too, which is uncommon. We are now all fired up and full of enthusiasm, which is also uncommon.

Setting Sons - The Jam

2009-02-17T19:20:00.011Z

8.41 Two Minutes Late
But it all counts because I forgot, until I was a minute away from the station, that today I am on A Course. A Course which will begin at 9:15.

I send the same text to three people (on purpose) explaining that I might be a bit late and a strange calm settles over me. It's really most unusual. I'm not good at being late or unprepared, or not knowing exactly where I'm going, yet here I am: late, unprepared, not knowing exactly where I'm going, quite unfazed by it. There's absolutely nothing I can do and ... I like it!

When I arrive (9:14 - still time for coffee) I find a piece of paper in my pocket. It's from last night. Mantras to use in times of stress.

She didn't mention that you don't even have to say them.

Tales Of The Riverbank
Dreams Of Children
In The City
Smithers- Jones
Absolute Beginners

"...we've got a lot to learn from each other, we have got to stick together"

2009-02-16T17:50:00.001Z

Watch out for Ra Ra Riot :all set to be this year's Vampire Weekend.
And I mean that in a good way.

(although the pictures will be of no help - guess I got too close again)

The Rhumb Line - Ra Ra Riot

"...do you still see the same old crowd, the ones who used to meet every Friday?"

2009-02-13T11:59:00.042Z

21.45 Fifteen Minute Late - Waiting For A Driver
We'd been drinking and we'd been talking about drinking.

About how, when we were students (not all together, and not all at the same time, it was a work night out not a reunion. Except that it was a sort of reunion because of Charlie having left us in January) it wasn't really a case of deciding what you'd like to drink, it was a matter of choosing the lesser evil: crap cider, crap lager, crap white wine from the Offy before the event. It was very definitely a means to an end - except for ThesaurusBoy, who claimed to have enjoyed the taste of beer even then. Maybe it was different in Kent?

Charlie had recounted how great nights out in late nineties Reading could be got for under a fiver (50p for the cloakroom, £1 to get into the disco, £2 for two pints of snakebite and £1 for the taxi home) and I was thinking (while we were waiting for that driver) that I was pretty sure that £1 of your grant money was all that was needed to procure a great Ormskirk night in 1980: four halves of cider at 20p a go and 20p for three songs on the jukebox. Unless it was a Wednesday: Disco in the coffee bar. For free! Some weeks were better than others.

The more things change the more they stay the same. Some of my best nights are still on a couple of pints of cider and a handful of songs proving, I suppose, that it's not what you drink but who you drink it with.

Setting Sons - The Jam

2009-02-12T18:57:00.034Z

17.28 On Time
Thankfully, on time.
I'm tired. Light headed. I can't get warm. I'm soooo hungry.
And I've got another bloody cold.

I choose the uncomfortable, crowded, slooooooow train because of it setting off thirteen minutes before the comfortable, quiet, fast train. Perhaps that was a mistake, because now I'm sitting hemmed into a corner, with my knees pressed up against the rather chunkier knees of a woman dementedly intent on a word search, but I just wanted to get home.

When I get home I want to be made a fuss of, but unobtrusively, without the need for me to reciprocate or even acknowledge that any fuss is being made. I want solicitous (but restrained) attention: cups of tea, hot water bottles and chocolate. I want a deep, hot bath - with half a bottle of bubbles - but not the bother of running it. Then I want to be left alone, but not ignored.

All of which is a bit of a shame really as, tonight, it's just me. I get off the train and head for the chippy, prepared to wallow in vinegary self-pity and boil my own kettle.

Big Tears - Elvis Costello
Acid Test - Emma Pollock
Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy
Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken - Camera Obscura

2009-02-11T19:24:00.014Z

7.57 On Time
My lovely jukebox currently holds five thousand seven hundred and twenty five songs.

Of those five thousand seven hundred and twenty five only two of them are by Idlewild and only one is by Boo Hewerdine yet, since going to The Grand on Monday to see the catchily named trio 'Drever, McCusker & Woomble' (with Heidi Talbot and Boo Hewerdine), the jukebox - in approximately fifty minutes of play - has 'randomly' thrown up each of those three tunes.

Don't mean nuthin'.

American English - Idlewild
You Held The World In Your Arms - Idlewild
Patience Of Angels - Boo Hewerdine
Strange Things Happen - Billy Bragg