Monday, August 21, 2006

8.10 Cancelled. Turned into a bus at 8.40.One hour and seven minutes late.
Leaving far too much time for introspection and causing me to question exactly where it is I'm going with this line of thought.

Because, even supposing it was a definite (and, let's face it, there is some conjecture here) what possible difference could getting laid by SkinnyCoolFuckSexyBoy have ever made in the grand scheme of things?

The most likely answer is none at all. Which is not the answer I want.

But, and here's the tricky part, the second most likely outcome of having shared a spectacular night of untrammelled passion or - more realistically - a tentative and uncertain shag, with SkinnyCoolFuckSexyBoy is that the circumstances which subsequently led me to cling, limpet-like to the catalogue of disaster that was TheUnsuitableMan would not then have existed.

So, that would be a good thing, right? Win/win?
Well, no, it wouldn't, because then neither the Older nor YoungerBoy would exist, and I couldn't want that.

Equally, if the Older&YoungerBoy had never existed I would've missed out on the really good bit where I got grown-up, became independent & self reliant and passed through what I like to think of as my human-dynamo period.

And, ultimately, If I hadn't become the independent human-dynamo type I would never have met the love of my life. So what am I saying?

I'd give it all up for a pair of shorts, a plain white t-shirt and a perfect backflip?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I Hate Scotland - Ballboy


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