Tuesday, January 31, 2006
I find some work to do.
“…but did Miss X receive her tickets?”
“That’s the fifth time you’ve asked that. I want to talk about how unprofessional you are…”
“Did Miss X ever receive her tickets?”
“Sixth time…are you always so unprofessional? Do you always give such bad advice?”
“So when, exactly, did you send Miss X her tickets?”
“I am a legitimate business man. You cannot keep repeating this to me like you are a robot”
“Did you supply Miss X with the tickets she ordered?”
“Are you a machine? Are you a computer programmed to say this one thing?”
Move forward several minutes. I have really unleashed my inner Paxman by this stage. I’m not even letting him finish his sentences.
“…Am I on speaker phone? Am I providing entertainment for your whole office? Are they all as unprofessional as you? Are you LAUGHING?”
I had to confess that I was.
The conversation was going very well or very badly, depending on your perspective.
All I can say is, should you ever be in the position of not receiving tickets from…let's call them “NeverHadAnyTicketsInTheFirstPlace” Agency and you paid by credit card, contact your card company and try a 'chargeback'.
Seems to annoy the hell out of the, let’s call him “Managing Director”.
I Don’t Want To Go To Chelsea – Elvis Costello
White Riot – The Clash
Roadrunner – Jonathan Richman
Sound Of The Suburbs - The Members
When I Dream – Teardrop Explodes
Whole Wide World – Wreckless Eric
Looking After Number One – Boomtown Rats
Funeral Pyre – The Jam
Friday, January 27, 2006
I have thrown my toys out of the pram.
I have taken my ball home.
I am sulking.
Apparently, according to an article in today's Evening Post "now" if you've been "ripped off" you can talk "direct to experts."
Me, with a brain the size of a small planet and 6 years experience, but "NOW" you can speak to someone who's had 6 weeks training.
In a grand, but ultimately futile, gesture I took the armful of letters I was about to allocate and threw them up into the air. (In the film, there will be a slow motion effect here).
"So. What's Consumer Direct going to do about THAT!"
It was very dramatic.
The room fell silent.
Gravity got involved, a rain of basildon bond, paperclips and envelopes descended. (In the film, this will happen at 'normal' speed, to enhance the bathos)
I picked everything up and started over again.
TOP FIVE MISSING PIECES OF THE JIGSAW
Ever Fallen In Love.... - The Buzzcocks
Little Fluffy Clouds - The Orb
Oh Superman - Lori Anderson
At Seventeen - Janis Ian
Electricity - Orchesteral Manoeuvres In The Dark
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Day Two of Year Zero.*
Discussed Kirsty Allsopp and hot tubs with Lovely.
Did a bit of filing.
Replied to a letter ten minutes after it landed on my desk.
Moaned to Lovely about stuff.
Answered an email immediately.
Filed some emails.
Deleted some emails.
Re-filed the remaining emails.
Listened to Lovely moaning about some stuff.
Returned a call.
Twiddled my thumbs.
Thought about the Pacific North West Adventure.
Hummed "CostaFineTown" by Splinter.
(* give them a call, tell them "Beth sent me")
Night Boat To Cairo - Madness
Boys Don't Cry - The Cure
Is She Really Going Out With Him? - Joe Jackson
Into The Valley - The Skids
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Going Underground - The Jam
Babylon's Burning - The Ruts
Promises - The Buzzcocks
Banana Splits - The Dickies
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Sutherland Brothers and Quiver Anyone?
I must have been infected by some kind of Seventies virus.
I need to hear “At Seventeen” by Janis Ian and Stephen Bishop’s “On And On.”
Oh, and Joe Walsh “Life’s Been Good” and perhaps even a bit of Bob Seeger.
And some Steely Dan. (That’ll be Stuart Maconie’s fault).
While I'm committing credibility suicide, does anybody else remember “Ten to Eight” by David Castle or “CostaFineTown” by Splinter?
Next I'll be craving England Dan and John Ford Coley ("I'd Really Love To See You Tonight")
I’m sure it’ll pass, but if I have an overwhelming desire to hear “Carry On My Wayward Son” or “Dust In The Wind” then it really is time to worry.
Northern Sky - Nick Drake
Solid Air - John Martyn
Babe - Styx
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
She's Gone - Hall & Oates
Everything I Own - Bread
Alison - Elvis Costello
Suzanne - Leonard Cohen
Werewolves Of London - Warren Zevon
P.S. Ooooh! Just remembered - Andy Fairweather Low "Wide Eyed And Legless". Must have it.
Monday, January 23, 2006
It's a testing time at the Office.
Pregnancy, infertility, fledgling relationships - and as if that weren't enough to cope with tomorrow is the final day before EverythingChanges forever. Or until the money runs out.
But hey, never mind the disquieting rumour and uncertainty. Forget the fact that ThePowersThatBe don't seem to have a clue what our jobs will be on Wednesday.
ITV3 is showing re-runs of Due South.
Put the kettle on, pull up a comfy chair and relive your favourite Mountie Moments.
All together now - "I said ELVES you moron!"
Powder Blue -Elbow
Year Of The Cat - Al Stewart
The Pretender - Jackson Browne
Lady Eleanor - Lindisfarne
A Free Man In Paris - Joni Mitchell
You Wear It Well - Rod Stewart
My Little Town - Simon & Garfunkel
Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I have some new earphones.
Not before time it would seem, as I can hear all sorts of stuff that’s been passing me by.
The most comforting discovery was that Ben Gibbard is actually singing about “greenery and humid air” not “greenery and human hair” which was a more than slightly creepy image.
A man bought a hard drive for his girlfriend for Christmas.
He lost his receipt and now the shop won’t take it back.
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing…it’s an unwanted gift…”
There’s a story there. And possibly a moral.
And then I spoke to a man whose duvet was so noisy it was keeping him awake.
He obviously needs some new earplugs.
Is this the longest week ever?
Plans – Death Cab For Cutie
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
SexyEyes is back. With a healthy tan and a new haircut. It’s a good look.
Oh, but he knows it...
Meanwhile in the Office: The Man who originally called to complain about the Evening Post never having four pages of jobs (as advertised) called back.
He is now complaining about the Evening Post never having four pages of jobs (as advertised), about the Officer who took his original call but didn’t record his words accurately, about the Officer who didn’t take his follow up call (to complain about the Officer who didn’t record his words accurately) seriously enough and about LineManager who wrote to him to tell him to get a life.
Who’d have thought that was likely to happen?
Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
More Than A Feeling- Boston
Looking After Number One- Boomtown Rats
Cold As Ice – Foreigner
Romeo and Juliet – Dire Straits
Promises – Buzzcocks
A Town Called Malice – The Jam
On Top – The Killers
Doctor Wu – Steely Dan
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
What Year Is This?
GirlWhoTalksWithHerHands is animated. She had a good Christmas and a better New Year. It's nice to see someone who enjoyed themselves and doesn't feel they have to be cynical about it.
In my bag I have a new diary and a new project book. Even better, a bona fide new project to go with the stationery - 'Mission Pacific North West' begins here or here...or maybe here... there's plenty of research to do.
It's dark, it's raining (that fine rain that wets you through) and I've been awake since five worrying about having to get up for work.
The playlist possibly reflects this.
Lydia - Dean Friedman
Home Thoughts From Abroad - Clifford T Ward
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
Father and Son - Cat Stevens
Superstar - The Carpenters
Where's The Playground Susie? - Glen Campbell
Out Of Time - Chris Farlowe
I'm Not In Love - 10CC