Thursday, March 30, 2006

I Sound Like A Housewife...I Think I'm A Housewife

I tore up the "Stuff To Do" list.

Then I watched some DVDs.

And I don't feel guilty.

Anchorage - Michelle Shocked

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

And It Is True What You Said, That I Live Like A Hermit In My Own Head

Got out of the house early and went down to the beach to think about stuff.
The great thing about our beach is, however much stuff you might have to think about, you'll never run out of sand.
I pointed myself at the Southport Gas Towers and walked towards them.

Well, not literally towards them. Someone tries that every summer.

It never ends well.

The Pretender - Jackson Browne
Don't Talk - 10,000 Maniacs
Into My Arms - The Lemonheads

About My Lighter - Lambchop
Florida - Grandaddy
Chop Suey - System Of A Down
Hey Ya! - Outkast
Suede - The Chemistry Between Us

True Faith - New Order
Valley Winter Song - Fountains Of Wayne
Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles
Mike Mills - Air
Fall At Your Feet - Crowded House
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
An Open Book - Stephen Duffy

Dosed - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Breed - Nirvana
Sweetness Follows - REM
Marching Bands Of Manhatten - Death Cab For Cutie
Sunrise - Divine Comedy

Uptight - Stevie Wonder


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

You Do It To Yourself, You Do, And That's What Really Hurts.

I should be on strike, but as I booked leave months ago I'm not.
I'm feeling guilty about my lack of solidarity instead.

Oh, and about not doing the things on my "Week Off - To Do" list.
Well, I figure I've got till something goes wrong before I regret not sorting out the travel insurance. And "mortgage stuff"... that's been on the List so long another few weeks days isn't going to make any difference. As for "Malham - Sort Out Activities" well, there aren't any, alright? I'm all out of ideas. No inspiration. (I still think fancy dress was a potential winner but now that's been vetoed, along with contacting the dead and pony trekking).
We're staying next door to the
pub, and there's plenty of walking. What more do you need?

But ...."J's Birthday," hmmm. Messed up there didn't I?
See? It was on the list - I didn't even forget - it's worse than forgetting. Sorry. Will 'I had a lot on my mind' do?
No? Not really.

Finally, and I know I've touched on this before, but, if you were one of the many people occupying valuable space at the
Manchester Apollo last night (and what did you think you were buying tickets for? Wrestling?) who couldn't sit still or shut up for more than five minutes at a time - please, next time, stay home and watch MTV.
At least you won't be annoying anyone else with your constant need to pop out for a beer/deal with the consequences of popping out for a beer.
Grumpy? ME?

Radiohead On Random

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Monday, March 27, 2006

Blue Velvet America, Half Glimpsed In The Headlights Between The Trees

It's the 60's.
I'm standing on a beach on the West Coast of America looking out at the Pacific Ocean.

I play tambourine in Bob Dylan's band. He gave me a little white pill, which I don't think was asprin, but I took anyway. The beach is pebbled and, although I can't feel it, I know it's raining because the pebbles are shiny and uniformly dark grey. I take off my shoes and walk into the sea.

The sky is purple, there's a wind whipping the pines on the shoreline, and the sea is swelling dangerously, but I wade out further - until I realise that I will get swept off my feet or, worse, lose my shoes.

When I'm back, only ankle deep in the foam, with my skirt, cold and soaked, wrapping itself around me, one of the backing singers approaches, kisses me, and tells me the afternoon show is cancelled because of the storm.

We leave the beach through the revolving door that spills us out onto Main Street.

I wake up feeling cheated. I don't even like Bob Dylan.

Cindy Of 1000 Lives - Billy Bragg


Thursday, March 23, 2006

7.31 On Time
There was a scruffy youth smoking on the train.

I took a couple of deep breaths and told myself to calm down.
He'd only just got on, he was bound to put it out.

A sideways glance.
Smoke was still curling out from his sneakily cupped hand.
I told myself to relax, the conductor would be along in a minute, he would say something.
But what if he wasn't? What if he didn't?

Out of the corner of my eye I could still see that smoke.
I gave the boy contemptuous glance and turned to stare ostentatiously at the "No Smoking" sign.
My heart was thumping, I could feel the blood rushing to my face in anticipation of what I would say.
In situations like this it's no good quietly seething is it? You have to stand up and be counted.

I took one final look - just to confirm my outrage.
Very, very, fortunately, this time I realised that what I'd seen as surreptitious puffs of his ciggy were actually delicate sips from the cup of steaming coffee he'd bought from that new machine in the waiting room...

The Fitzgerald - Richmond Fontaine


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

7.31 Fifteen Minutes Late
Leanne has a new mobile, she’s not impressed by the polyphonic ringtone.
"I think it’s a dog weeing on a cat"

She played it and I think she’s right.

No time for lunch today. Went here instead. Fatal.

Knowing When To Run - The Delgados
You've Got Everything Now - The Smiths
A Most Peculiar Man - Simon & Garfunkel
If I Were A Carpenter - Tim Hardin
Wild Wood - Paul Weller
A Case Of You - Joni Mitchell
Old Soul Song (For The New World Order) - Bright Eyes
It's A Hit - Rilo Kiley

Friday, March 17, 2006

8.10 On Time
I’m sitting on the train looking down at my coat and I can see that it’s covered with cat hairs.
For the first time I’m not cursing.

I can’t tell anyone today, because the people I work with are too kind and will sympathise and if people are kind and sympathise I will cry and I can’t do that.

I don’t want to get maudlin or mawkish but when you’ve lived with the world’s best cat for seventeen years you need more than one night to get used to him not being around anymore.

Missing You – Loudon Wainwright III
Late – Ben Folds
Sulk – Radiohead
So It Goes – Nick Lowe
Dust Of Ages – Eels
Ugly Man – Rickie Lee Jones
Mexican Wine – Fountains Of Wayne
Magic – Ben Folds Five


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

17.12 On Time
Lovely’s back!

If we were different, more demonstrative people I would throw myself at his feet, hug his knees and implore him never, never to leave me alone again. As it is I enquire politely about his week and learn that he has been falling in love with a vacuum cleaner.

The natural order is restored.

Takk – Sigur Ros

Monday, March 13, 2006

8.10 On Time
Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.
Lovely is on leave and without him my life is barren and empty. I told him this last week, but he went away regardless. Some people are so selfish.

It's ThesaurusBoy's birthday so I made him a CD.
Unfortunately I can't bring myself to give it to him.

See, I watched "High Fidelity" at the weekend and (it's not that I'm trying to send secret signals or inject hidden meaning, don't get me wrong, we don't want those rumours starting up again, oh no) what's worrying me is that it's just not GOOD enough.
That I didn't put enough effort into it.

That perhaps I'm losing my touch..?

It needs a re-think.

Maybe that should be "I can't give it to him yet".

Jeannie's Diary - Eels
Lone Star State Of Mind - Nanci Griffith
The Girl I Can't Forget - Fountains Of Wayne
Our Mutual Friend - Divine Comedy
Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand
Tiny Vessels - Death Cab For Cutie
Reason To Believe - Tim Hardin
To Wish Impossible Things- The Cure
Puncture Repair- Elbow

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

King Midas In Reverse

7.31 On Time
I'm not one for hiding my trumpet under a bushel, but this last week or so has been a record breaker. Yet more complaints that pre-date Jarndyce magically resolved.

There must be something in the air.

Unfortunately, my unparalleled brilliance is about to rebound on me big style.

As a result of this morning's "Brainstorm" (ha!) LineManager has asked if I'll keep a record of everything I do for the next week - every fifteen minutes - to see how much slack we've got in the system.

Which may beg the question - is the reason I currently have so little to do because I am dead good & ace or because I'm a lazy so & so who fobs people off and does the minimum amount of work needed to get by?

Erm... can I have my caseload back?

Melt Your Heart - Jenny Lewis
Left Of Center - Suzanne Vega
Late Night Conversation - Josh Rouse
You Cut Her Hair - Tom McRae
Black Velvet - The Lilac Time
Fugitive Motel - Elbow
Underneath The Stars - Kate Rusby

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

7:31 On Time
We are brainstorming tomorrow.
To try to decide what we’ll be doing with ourselves in the bright shiny future, now we have all this 'free time'.

Charlie suggested we put our ideas into a tombola and the first five out are the things we prioritise for the next twelve months.

I wondered where we were going to get five ideas.

Lovely suggested a Ouija board.

Charlie vetoed it.

Give Up – The Postal Service

Monday, March 06, 2006

Just A Memory...

7.31 Cancelled
8.10 On Time

“Layin' about lyin' in bed…maybe it was something that I thought I’d said…”

I was doing it again.

“Beth, that’s a lovely song you’re singing today” said Lovely, sweetly.
I gave him a patented Paddington Hard Stare: “At least I know all the words to that one”,
then sealed my lips theatrically.

Haven’t heard anything about that job I don’t want yet. I know it’s the Council and everything, but if I haven’t heard by today I think I’ll presume they don’t want me either.

Suddenly, I feel snubbed and rejected.

Funny how you only want what you can’t have.

The White Trash Period Of My Life – Josh Rouse
A History Of Lovers - Calexico / Iron & Wine
Trance Manual – John Vanderslice
I Haven’t Heard A Word I’ve Said - Lambchop
Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes
Taking Off – The Cure
Do You Ever Think Of Me- Laura Cantrell

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Thursday, March 02, 2006

8:10 On Time
“I love you, I want to have your babies” is not a very professional response I know.

So I didn’t actually say it out loud. Not even when I’d put the phone down.

My favourite type of complaint has got to be the one where Mr.SoundsVeryYoungButWillGoFar returns my call, apologises for not calling sooner, and explains how everything has been resolved and that, in fact, he wrote a letter to Mr.CrossWithGoodReason only two days ago explaining how great everything was going to be from now on, for ever, 'cross my heart & hope to die'.

I know that when Mr.CrossWithGoodReason gets that letter he’s going to think it was all my doing and, no matter how much I try to tell him it’s coincidence, won’t believe that I didn’t wave my magic wand.

All the kudos for none of the effort!

Soul Boy – The Blue Nile
Newborn – Elbow
Sulk – Radiohead
Black Star – Radiohead
High & Dry – Radiohead

Wow - Cinerama
Quick, Before It Melts - Cinerama

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

8:10 On Time

Carpe Diem

Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
Love Becomes A Savage – The Lilac Time
Olympic Cyclist – Ballboy
Get Up And Go - Cinerama
Dirty Dream Number Two – Belle & Sebastian
Running Up That Hill – Kate Bush
Scattered Black And Whites – Elbow

This Love Affair – Rufus Wainwright

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