Friday, September 30, 2005
We had our achievements recognised today. Pictures were taken, handshakes exchanged, speeches delivered. There was much back slapping and mutual admiration.
OldFishWife, having had first hand experience of the much vaunted 'commitment to training' and 'investment in staff', almost choked on indignation, finding it hard not to heckle.
We had low expectations of the celebratory buffet. We joked that maybe there would be some finely sliced budget sausage rolls, ready salted own brand crisps, a pointless bowl of lettuce and possibly some bullet-like mini scotch eggs.
The reality was even less inspired. We were honoured with mashed crabstick sandwiches, ready salted own-brand crisps and the daringly innovative margarine & red onion roll. The orange juice was thoughtfully served at room temperature.
WalkingMedicalEncyclopediaColleauge was seen to march off in a huff muttering: " There's nothing for me here - Prawns on every plate!"
There's no such thing as a free lunch, and rumour has it that this one cost four pounds a head.
An enquiry has been launched.
Leaders Of The Free World - Elbow
Monday, September 26, 2005
It’s a risk.
Sharing your favourite places with your favourite people.
What if they just don’t get it?
Or worse – hate them?
Sunday was a risk. But it turned out to be worth it. Despite being the morning after.
Even with an adventure at the Little Chef version of Fawlty Towers thrown in:
(“Actually, that was supposed to be a Vegetarian Breakfast, not a Vegeburger.”
Carries plate away from table.
Carries plate back towards table.
“Will it be alright though?”)
Even with the rain.
I'm A Cuckoo
Waking Up To Us
If She Wants Me
String Bean Jean
Dog On Wheels
A Century Of Elvis
Labels: real life
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Fuck The Valley Fudge
Sometimes, when people who have spent the day shopping proudly display their purchases for the benefit of the rest of the carriage, it irritates me. Especially when they are sharing hideous handbags, or vile shoes, and oh no, for the love of god, please don't try out your new perfume or on your make up.
Equally, sometimes (books/CD's/DVD's) I really, really want to see. There is a compulsive need to know if someone owns something I've read/seen/heard/heard off/got an ill-informed half-baked opinion about because Mark Lawson mentioned it once on Front Row. Be warned, I will perform contortions of circus proportions to peer uninvited over your shoulder and into your Waterstones bag.
Other times, there is no mystery.
Something about the font on his t-shirt and his ill-advised facial hair told me it was only a matter of time before he produced a Games Workshop carrier and whipped out a White Dwarf.
Excerpts From The Diary Of Todd Zilla - Grandaddy*
*bit disappointed joe, 'Fuck The Valley Fudge' & 'Florida' are great tracks & 'Goodbye' is ok but the rest sounds like ideas that didn't quite make the grade. You know, the sort of songs where you start off paying attention, then you realise you'd drifted off, because you're aware you've snapped back into it...and it's still the same track...though it seems like five minutes later...or it might be the next track, but you can't tell the difference...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
We Are Not Scaremongering, This Is Really Happening
ThesaurusBoy is having a hard time.
Seems like every call he takes at the minute ends in rudeness, tears or abuse.
That is, if it ends at all.
Mostly, it just goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on ... until I’m at the point where I can bear it no longer and I reach over, and snatch the headset from him, and shout into the nasty foam thingy: “He’s spent the last twenty-five minutes telling you, in fifteen different ways, exactly what you need to do, how stupid are you? JUST FUCK OFF AND DO IT!”
Unfortunately, that is only in my dreams.
In reality, the call is still going on, and on etc...until he reaches the point where he can bear it no longer, and caves in, and agrees to whatever it is they have spent the last thirty-five minutes trying to manipulate him into doing, because: “It’s easier”.
Thirty-five minutes ago it might have been easier, now it's capitulation.
The ‘It’s Lunchtime, Block It All Out’ Playlist:
George Washington – Hope Of The States
Pounding – Doves
Second Coming – Elbow
How To Disappear Completely – Radiohead
Butterflies & Hurricanes – Muse
Me Ves Y Sufres – Hope Of The States
Idioteque – Radiohead
Plug In Baby - Muse
Monday, September 19, 2005
More Adventurous - GirlontheM25
The absentminded bar maid who had accidentally poured away my half-pulled Guinness asked if I was with the Big Party and :"What's going on?"
I tried to explain.
"It's some people who know each other, and some people who think they know each other because they've read about each other on the internet, mostly quite nervous, getting pissed as quickly as possible."
It was the best I could do at the time. I was mostly quite nervous.
(I did say she might want to keep an eye on the disruptive looking bloke in the pink shirt, he looked the sort who might be trying to move furniture later)
Anyway, my VirtuallySecretCrush remained intact and, although 'mingling' is putting it a bit strong, I had a few actual conversations with some really nice people.
Later, someone tried to impress me with technology by letting me hold an after eight mint and pretending it was the latest thing.
Later still there was hugging, then leaving, and Japanese food.
[Big thanks to the organisers, and our gracious hosts.]
Asleep At The Back - Elbow
More Adventurous - Rilo Kiley
Take Offs & Landings - Rilo Kiley
The Execution Of All Things - Rilo Kiley
Excerpts From The Diary Of Todd Zilla - Grandaddy
Friday, September 02, 2005
I Said "Hi" She Said "Yeah, I Guess I Am"
NewNeighbour (TheOtherOne, not TheOneWithTheWolf, although they look confusingly similar) was singing as he wheeled his bike through the gate.
He stopped singing when he saw me.
I don’t want to be a person who stops other people from singing.
My feet are cold. September is here, flip flop season is almost over. The Shoe Problem is back.
Neil Jung – Teenage Fanclub
Can’t Stop Killing You – Kirsty MacColl
Fallen – k d Lang
What Have I Done To Deserve This? – Dusty Springfield
It Might As Well Rain Until September – Carole King
Sunday - Rabbits
Stop - Astrid
Get Up And Go - Cinerama
Poor Misguided Fool - Starsailor
Ariel – Dean Friedman
Thursday, September 01, 2005
There Are Some Days That Catch The Light, Days Like Diamonds
Sorry about yesterday. Don’t know what I was thinking.
Perhaps the closed door session with LineManager was preying on my mind.
As the train pulled up at ShabbyStation there was a man ironing in the nip. He thought he was safe, in the privacy of his own kitchen, but he’d obviously forgotten to factor in the railway line at the bottom of the garden.
Hope he was careful with the steam function.
Knives Out - Radiohead
At My Most Beautiful – REM
The Art Teacher – Rufus Wainwright
Tension - 10,000 Maniacs
Looking Out The Window With A Blue Hat On - E
Mexican Wine - Fountains Of Wayne
Everyday - Slade
Festival '95 - Looper