Friday, September 15, 2006

17.12 On Time
I was brought up to have no expectations.

In the same way as I wasn't allowed pets because I'd be sad when they died, I wasn't encouraged to have aspirations, because I'd be disappointed when they came to nothing.
I'm sure it was unconsciously done from the best of motives but I do sometimes wish I'd had a bit more ... well ... pushing.

Although, had that been the case, my contrary nature would've reared up and my response would've been to move as quickly as possible in the opposite direction. So, about now, I would be bemoaning my pushy parents and laying my lack of ambition at their feet.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Yup. I've put in another half-assed application for another job I don't want.

Or, am pretending I don't want. To avoid disappointment.

Saturday Morning - Eels
Neighbourhood #4 - Arcade Fire
This Time Tomorrow - James Yorkeston
Letter To Bowie Knife - Calexico
Fighting In a Sack - The Shins
At My Most Beautiful - REM
Dreamer - Supertramp
Never Going Back Again - Fleetwood Mac

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