Monday, February 05, 2007
Me: in bed.
Who would have a Friday off when you can have a Monday instead?
Be off work on a Friday and there’s every chance you’ll find yourself spending half the day in the shower scrubbing at grout with a toothbrush and some harmful chemicals, then the remainder wrestling with a duvet cover until you collapse weeping, exhausted and defeated in a heap of resentment and failure.
Take a Monday on the other hand and, not only can you spend the afternoon watching the Superbowl ‘as live’, you can saunter down to your local shops to enjoy the privilege of still having local shops by paying a premium price for your toilet rolls. If you’re really good, and can time it right, you can pick up a still warm pork pie from the Delicious Pie Shop for lunch.
I found myself in WH Smiths, for reasons that escape me, sighing over the Insight Flexi-maps and stroking the note books with a faraway look in my eyes. Then I came across a whole section dedicated to activities to complete ‘before you die’ .
Obviously, I’ve seen these in isolation before, but, en-masse it was terrifying. ‘1001 places to go/films to see/books to read/albums to hear/pickles to bottle/diseases to beat/adversities to overcome and then write a memoir about …well, you get the picture…
First up - Who Says ?
Second up - No, really: Who Says?
Third up - I feel inadequate enough already, and am fully aware of the ticking of that particular clock, without some LondonType feeling the need to list the ‘1001 Top Party Hotspots To Party Till You Drop In’ Before You Die. Anyway. I’m staying home and reducing my carbon footprint so there.
I think it’s time for my pie.
Oh, yeah, which reminds me - that’s why I was in Smiths in the first place.
AFTERTHOUGHT: Erm….OK, on reflection, just in case, and on the off chance that someone reading this might have, at some point, contributed to any of the above... you know...nothing personal. *Blush*.
Labels: real life