Tuesday, March 27, 2007

10.10 Ten Minutes Late
Miss Pinto has gone.
In her place is a deceptively smiling, smooth faced young man with heavy hands and a lot to learn about women.

"What do you snack on?" He demands.
"I don't snack."
He cleverly changes tack: "When do you eat chocolate?"
"When I have an emergency."
He looks worried: "What do you mean? Are you diabetic?"
"No, I...er..eat chocolate when I have a crisis." I look to the dental nurse for support. "Do you know what I mean?"

She nods ruefully.

I try to clarify
"I don't eat chocolate that often, but sometimes" I tail off weakly "you've just got to have it."

He shakes his head and moves on; Do I floss? (No) How often & for how long do I brush my teeth? (Often enough and long enough), Do I time myself? (No. I'm not a freak) Does my toothpaste have fluoride? (Probably. Don't they all? I mean who checks?), Do I know what 'fluoride' is? (What? Am I nine years old!!!) and, finally, am I manual or electric?

I'm manual of course. He is on to a loser here and he is beginning to know it.

In revenge he makes me have some x-rays, during which time he & the dental nurse hide outside the room. It's not reassuring.

The final straw comes when he tells me his is going to replace a filling for me, there and then, because there is a tooth which has become chipped, and it may become decayed unless we act quickly. Oh yeah, right. That'd be the tooth I chipped on a Nutalls Minto in 1997 then? We decide not to proceed with the urgent filling after all.

I wait at reception to hand my credit card to the UsuallyFrostyReceptionist: "What happened to Miss Pinto?"
"She left."
"She was nice"
"She was wasn't she" agrees the SlightyThawingReceptionist.
"She wasn't patronising." I say, putting on my nine-year-old-in a-sulk face. The UnusuallyIndiscreetReceptionist smiles and says "He's leaving soon."

Lydia - Dean Friedman
Sunken Waltz - Calexico
All This Usless Beauty - Elvis Costello
On The Border - Al Stewart
Ramblin' Man - Lemon Jelly
Six Shooter Annex - Ellis Island Sound


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