Friday, August 31, 2007

17.12 On Time
Dispensing relationship advice is not my forte.
"How to get a relationship started" advice is possibly the subject on which I am least qualified to speak.

I can recall only ever employing three methods as far as what might crudely be termed 'trying to get off with somebody' is concerned:

Method One: Stare at them. Follow them in order to stare at them some more. Learn their habits and be in places you know they will be before they get there, so you can stare at them when they arrive. Follow them when they leave. (This was OK in the Seventies, but these days can be called 'Stalking' so be careful) If they never once look in your direction, ever, it means they love you, but are too shy to say so. Give it more time.
Method Two: Get drunk, launch yourself in their direction.
MethodThree: Write to them.

Oh, there was that one time I employed the straightforward 'ring them up and ask them out' but at least with the others I've had a modicum of success. Although Method One has never worked unless it was in conjunction with Methods Two or Three.

ThesaurusBoy would probably do well to ignore my suggestions, although I like to think I could come up with something a bit more encouraging than: "So, do you think you'll ever meet anybody else then?"

Dressed Up Like Nebraska - Josh Rouse


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