Wednesday, January 02, 2008

"All the pain of yesterday has gone away..." part II

17.12 On Time
It's freezing and I have forgotten my gloves.

One day back at work and my spirit is crushed. All the good intentions in the world and I can't even stay in a positive frame of mind for one day.

Why? What happened?

No reason. Nothing in particular.

Other than the sheer futility of doing whatever it is that I do. Or am supposed to do. For much of the time my mind is occupied elsewhere; not profitably and not in the noble pursuit of acquiring knowledge for it's own sake, but in fragments of daydream and half-baked hare-brained schemes that crumble at the first whisper of reality.

I could give it up and find something else, but that would be madness considering my lack of talents and general unemployability. I could find something else and then give it up, which would make more sense but is equally unlikely. Or I could carry on taking the money and whinging about how bad things have got. It doesn’t matter if I’m not achieving my potential and doing great things - as long as I can learn to be content with bumping along the bottom.

Much more importantly, I notice that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of glockenspiel on my playlist.

When The Morning Comes – Lloyd & Michael
Dreamworld – Rilo Kiley
The Opposite Of Hallelujah – Jens Lekman
Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time) – The Delfonics
Give Me Just A Little More Time – Chairmen of the Board
Sad Sweet Dreamer – Sweet Sensation
Betcha By Golly Wow – The Stylistics


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