Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Which Adviser Are You?
a) Our lifeblood and a constant source of joy & delight
b) Just the same as Us
c) Fucking Losers
Do you regard your phone as:
a) an essential tool of the job
b) the enemy
c) an unwelcome distraction from your social life
d) a scary piece of technology which you haven’t quite mastered yet
When asked "well, what DO you do then?" do you:
a) send out a policy leaflet
b) apologise for the inadequacies of the service and explain, at great length, the extent, remit and limitations of our powers & resources
c) take it personally and sulk for the rest of the day
d) shrug your shoulders and say "beats me"
Do you treat callers with:
a) respect & courtesy (to their faces)
b) respect & courtesy (at all times)
c) You get what you give, so ‘Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby’ is your credo
d) Obsequiousness tinged with contempt
When you receive a thank you card or gift do you:
a) stick it with all the rest
b) don’t know, it’s never happened
c) feel unworthy, it’s just your job after all, and it’s not as if you even do it that well
d) moan about the quality, (unless it’s alcohol)
During meetings do you
a) make notes diligently
b) doodle diligently
c) use any opportunity you can to play your line manager like a cat with a mouse
d) fiddle with yourself under the table
How do you behave on works nights out?
a) associate with these people in my free time? I don’t think so!
b) I can’t remember
d) I methodically alienate all my workmates, then get started on the rest of the pub.
8) When speaking to consumers on the phone do you:
a) not speak to consumers on the phone as your phone is never switched on;
b) adopt a ‘Uriah Heep’ persona and repeat their name at least twice per sentence;
c) talk to them as though they are idiots to distract attention from the possibility that you are the idiot;
d) press the mute button, join in the conversations of colleagues until they've finished speaking, then pick up where you think they left off. They're idiots, they'll never notice.
I can't begin to imagine where it came from; but I'm sure I've worked with a's, b's c's and d's.
Secret Someones - Laura Veirs