Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Ninety Nine Red Balloons

7.31 On Time
The internet tells me John Cusack is 40 today.


As neither of us seems to be married or gay yet, I reckon there's still a chance.

(He's a rubbish blogger though)

Friday, June 23, 2006

...they call her name at 7.30

I’m not the kind of person who believes things happen for reasons.
I believe things happen randomly, without significance,
and that, mostly, lives are shaped by chance and coincidence.

Except, of course, for the choices we make when confronted with events.
We control our decisions:
Plan A or Plan B?

Respond like this? Or like that?
Do something or do nothing,
Speak or be silent...

We can always regret our choices.
Wish we’d handled things differently, had hindsight, known then what we know now etc.
But, eventually, you can get over anything that happens.

It’s the things that never happened that won’t leave you alone.

June 23rd 1981 was the day I became a pragmatist. Although I didn’t realise it at the time.


Thursday, June 22, 2006

...This charming man

So, I faced up to those damn letters.
I learned that I was not the crazy one.

I met Someone.
And there were more letters involved.
And of course I still have them.
(That’s all I’m saying.)

But from time to time, I still need reminding that I was not the crazy one.

This Charming Man - The Smiths

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

...Do you really need that drink to disarm defences?

It's not really about that one night in 1991.
What with the vodka and everything.
With the 'friend' who was buying me doubles and triples without my realising it.
With your apparent inability to say 'No'.

It was about the talking that followed.
The talking that followed the hesitant, embarrassed 'Don't worry about it, no harm done' conversation, obviously.
Those finally spilling my guts and spitting it out and finding that the world didn't end after all conversations.

Without the talking I would never have been able to face up to those damn letters.
Thanks, again.

How Was It For You - James


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

...She will always pay the bill, for the having big fun

It was June 1985 when I began to fall for RM and, consequently, began to lose my grip on the moral high ground and gain a reputation.

despite the gossip,
despite the people stopping my Mum in the Co-op outraged by the hours we were keeping,
despite "why don't you just get a telly like normal folk?",
despite that inevitable night when he left me weeping on the stairs,
I've never, ever felt the need to make a collage out of his letters.

Appetite - Prefab Sprout


Monday, June 19, 2006

Love Will Tear Us Apart

I came across the collage I made from his letters and an eviscerated NME today (it's something everyone does ... right?) It’s my most satisfying artistic achievement. Think prototype Tracy Emin’s tent but with less sex and no embroidery. Oh, and no tent either.

It’s all there. Emotional blackmail, jealousy, violence, self-justification, double standards, RF. And all my failings held up to the light.

It’s also irony motivated by revenge, served up with hindsight.
But then, as the survivor, I get to write the history.

Hypothetically, if you suddenly discovered you were the unwitting deus ex-machina of someone else’s life how would you react?

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division


Sunday, June 18, 2006

...And When I Dream

...I dream of broken glass.
A tumbler, held too tightly, shatters in my hand. There is blood and surprise and a look of horror.

But then I also dream that Norfolk's premier man of letters is actually a woman, so I'm not taking it too much to heart.

When I Dream - The Teardrop Explodes

Thursday, June 15, 2006

7.31 On Time
TicketSellingGuy is having a bad day.

Chip & Pin has finally arrived at the glorified bus shelter we call The Station and he’s not impressed. The machine was installed yesterday and it doesn’t look as if it’s going to bring him to dizzying new heights of efficiency any time soon. There are the extra key strokes, the increased paperwork and oh-so much more to malfunction, and malfunction it surely will.

Added to that there's the 21st Century Challenged traveller who has managed to remain blissfully unaware of the concept of the pin number until ninety seconds before his train is due...

...I thought I’d play safe and pay cash today.

Radio Silence – Elvis Costello
Too Much Love – Belle & Sebastian
…Baby One More Time – Fountains Of Wayne
Walk Away Renee – The Four Tops
Levi Stubbs Tears – Billy Bragg
Reelin’ In The Years – Steely Dan
Radio Sweetheart – Elvis Costello

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

7.31 On Time
I had thought taking me to a ‘Singer’s Night’ would be a bit
like taking a uniped line dancing.
Able to enjoy the spectacle, but not wise (or kind) to encourage participation.

However, as I sat through Polly’s extraordinary rendition of “Killing Me Softly” I reconfigured my definitions of ‘carry a tune’ and ‘tone deaf’ to such a degree that I'm now imagining my own set list.

Being hemmed in by desiccated conservatives was a bit disconcerting but, by way of compensation, GrandadInSandals did a cracking “It Ain’t Necessarily So”.

I’m A Believer – The Monkees
Trains & Boats & Planes – Fountains Of Wayne
Galveston – Glen Campbell
E-Bow The Letter-REM
Something In The Way- Nirvana
Making It Back –Richmond Fontaine
Behind The Front Lines – Johnathan Rice
Underneath The Stars – Kate Rusby


Monday, June 12, 2006

It's Friday I'm In Love....

Fancy that!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

7.31 On Time
Once upon a time, long, long ago, I lived with someone who fancied himself as a writer.

On completion of a section of The Novel he liked to have my opinion of his talents.

If I was honest, and said: “I thought such & such was well written” or “this & that was almost there, but maybe x&y needed a bit more work” he’d get upset.

What did I know anyway? What qualified me to be the critic? How could I hope to understand what he was trying to achieve? Blah blah blah. Smack.

If I was honest and said, without reservation: “That was really good – I really liked it” he’d get angry.
Why was I patronising him? There was no point if I couldn’t be honest! Blah blah blah. Smack.

D’you know? I can’t for the life of me remember what the hell it was all about.

Geogaddi - Boards Of Canada


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Spectacular Views

7.31 On Time
I love this time of year.

Whether it's reaping the rewards of all that digging or coveting someone else’s backyard June really does take some beating.

Having yesterday off was a very wise decision.

I established that it’s almost impossible to spend too much time lying on your back looking up at a tree.

As Jenny says “It’s so fucking beautiful

Spectacular Views – Rilo Kiley

Everything Beautiful Is Far Away - Grandaddy
Switching Off – Elbow

A Beautiful Place Out In The Country - Boards Of Canada
Little Fluffy Clouds - The Orb

Gold In The Air Of Summer - Kings Of Convenience
Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez
Hummingbird Song - Tom McRae

Friday, June 02, 2006

17.12 On Time
In the queue at Sainsburys:
The woman in front of me is buying two bottles of Cava and a toilet roll.
The couple behind me are buying two bottles of Italian Red and some low-fat oven chips (low-fat oven chips? who are you trying to kid?).
I'm buying two bottles of Californian Chardonnay and some houmus.

I guess it's Friday night then!

Say Yes - Elliott Smith
Say No - Teenage Fanclub
Say What You Want - Rosie Thomas
Just - Radiohead
Say Something - James
Goodbye Girl - Squeeze
Say it Ain't So - The Thrills


Thursday, June 01, 2006

17.12 On Time
I can't remember the last time I was brave.
The most recent thing I can come up with dates from 1993.
I wonder if I've become a coward because I needed all my reserves of courage in the 80's and now there's nothing left ?

Or is it because if you're not alone, you don't need to be brave any more?
There's nothing to be scared of.

Anyway. I love Doug,. And I want this.

Western Skies - Roddy Frame

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