Friday, May 26, 2006
A candle burns
She's thinking for herself
Will I ever learn?
She remakes and relives
And acts out the sequel
She's living in close up
But not with real people
She's lonely and crazy
In need of attention
She needs more than friendship
To ease the tension
She Still Loves You - The Lilac Time
Thursday, May 25, 2006
There was an urgent from call Barrow about a woman who had discovered a sewing needle in a pair of underpants she’d just bought for her husband.
They told me she’d had a lucky escape as she: "Could’ve had a nasty prick there”.
When I passed the matter on to Respected&DiligentColleague the response was equally sympathetic: “Oh dear. A little prick is the last thing a man wants to get out of his pants.”
Never let it be said that we don’t take issues of consumer safety seriously.
Drive - REM
Love Field – Elvis Costello
Julie & Candy – Boards Of Canada
Flight Test - The Flaming Lips
Run – Air
Drunk Kid Catholic – Bright Eyes
Automatic Stop - The Strokes
Fell In Love With a Girl - The White Stripes
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
A great night out.
First I was rude and then I lied.
There was a man called Declan O’Blimey (or something) with a song containing the phrase "the flowerbed of destiny" (I think).
Oh, yeah, and …. Neil Hannon?
Eye Of The Needle
Our Mutual Friend
Something For The Weekend
Becoming More Like Alfie
Tonight We Fly
Monday, May 22, 2006
One Day They'll Probably Make A Movie Out Of All Of This
Slept badly, following a disturbing dream, so I'm listening to Blood & Chocolate at a volume disapproved by Doctors.
It's my recovery album.
Spitting out "You can take the truthful things you've said to me, and put them on the head of a pin" is cathartic.
While snarling "You never did anything she couldn't do on her own" is therapeutic.
It still works, even if - to avoid being the mad person on the train - I'm doing it silently in my head.
(Oh please, I was only doing it silently in my head wasn't I?)
Although, I worry that I'm still capable of feeling so angry, after all this time.
Why can't it stay buried where I think it's buried?
Blood & Chocolate - Elvis Costello
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
I'm a little bit nervous.
There's a mobile phone in my bag and it's switched on.
I sent my first unaided text message last night.
Then my second. Then the third.
I'm not 100% sure where they all went.
And I'm still not sure what to do if it rings.
I know it makes sense and I know it's about time I joined the modern world an' that, but next time I'm asked what I'd like, maybe I'll play safe and stick with 'Oh, just something off the Wish List. Please.'
We’re Going To Be Friends – The White Stripes
I Won’t Die For You – The Lilac Time
Sparky’s Dream – Teenage Fanclub
Somebody Told Me – The Killers
Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac
Ballad Of Big Nothing – Elliott Smith
2nd Law – Tom McRae
Indoor Fireworks – Elvis Costello
There Is A Light… - The Smiths
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Strange Weather Lately
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologise for the delay which is due to the coupling on the train."
I realise that some trains have a certain inherent romance about them.
The Orient Express, for instance, conjures up images of opulent decadence while the Trans-Siberian Railway is grimy but stimulating. After my trip on the Pendolino the other week it's not too much of a stretch to envisage some kind of updated North by North West/Brief Encounter style goings-on developing en-route to Glasgow... but the 17.12 Northern to Blackpool South?
Or maybe some people are just more imaginative and adventurous than me.
Strange Weather Lately - Astrid
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
“Once Managers have filled 3 Unit Manager posts, (following competitive interviews if required) the 4th Unit Manager post will be ring-fenced to the next tier of officers in our current structure (posts encompassing grade PO 38 or above)
Once all 4 Unit Manager posts have been filled each officer at the PO38 or above tier, referred to in 4 above, will be allocated a suitable post from the equivalent tier of posts in the new structure. (Discussions with the individuals concerned will take place before proposals for the allocation of posts are presented to Panel for confirmation)
After completion of the above phases further discussions with Panel will take place, with a view to first filling the remaining higher tier posts in the new structure and the filling of the new Senior posts. Allocating all other officers a suitable post in the new structure should then be possible.”
Glad that’s cleared up then.
We were told it was going to take two months.
Back in the real world Charlie said: “I’ve got one here who is too disabled to write a letter, but she's been to Ikea buying flat pack furniture…”
Lovely had a woman who needed help because her husband and dog were of a nervous disposition.
Then there was the young man who was apparently ‘vulnerable’ but who, when contacted “can’t talk at the moment, I’m at an auction bidding for a horse…”
And so it goes.
Meanwhile, LineManager reported that this was rather a low Quay event.
Friday, May 12, 2006
In an effort to widen my horizons, expand my mind, extend my literary scope and generally improve myself I took “Crash” out of the library thinking I'd give it a go this afternoon, while I’m wrapped in foil and waiting for the chemicals to work.
Now that I’ve got “A Short History Of Tractors In Ukrainian” on my desk I fear the J.G. Ballard experience might be put on hold a little longer.
An old man came in to complain to LineManager about me.
I got him a refund but, because he can’t take messages off his answer phone, he hadn't realised.
I’m not in trouble.
Older – They Might Be Giants
Little Fluffy Clouds – The Orb
Summer Here Kids – Grandaddy
Friday, I’m In Love – The Cure
45 – Elvis Costello
Such Great Heights- The Postal Service
Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t Have) – The Buzzcocks
Another Girl Another Planet – The Only Ones
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - REM
Happy Birthday – Altered Images
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Maybe it's the weather.
Maybe it's pre-Radiohead nervous anticipation.
Maybe I'm still in a state of "No, of course we won't win the play-offs and anyway next season would be really really rubbish if we did, but just imagine if we do" induced euphoria.
Maybe I'm not actually feeling as depressed about it being my birthday tomorrow as I've been telling everyone I am...
Whatever the reason, I’ve got that bubbling over, barely contained excitement, anything & everything is possible feeling.
It’s been missing for a while
I like it.
Trouble Is Real - Johnathan Rice
Monday, May 08, 2006
Going in to work tomorrow won't be so bad after all...but does anyone know what Gary Kelly did to get booked?
I'd forgotten what it feels like when they give you hope.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
GOAT Holiday Special
Everyone else went to the races.
I was 'fragile' (by two o'clock I'd only just managed to nibble on a shortbread biscuit & sip some weak black tea without repercussions). So I was left behind, in our sumptuous and luxuriously appointed holiday cottage, to contemplate my foolishness and learn from the experience.
In this chastened frame of mind what from the extensive - and almost entirely legal - DVD collection laid on in our sumptuous etc holiday cottage did I choose to pass an hour or so?
Only The Singing Ringing Tree, that's all!
Face your fear. It's the only way.
Swelled the Bank Holiday crowds and practised my disapproving look at people clambering around the Cove without appropriate amounts of fleece or the proper shoes.
Came back & watched the Sky+’d Leeds v Preston at double speed.
It was the
Strolled to Hanlith. Couldn't understand why Tim was pointing excitedly and shouting "Farmers! look, Farmers!" Though when he added "I've never seen them outside a petting zoo." I cottoned on.
Abandoned the indescribably turgid "The Line of Beauty" and immediately felt incredibly relieved.
Went to the Market. The Fish Van was still there. The Fruit & Veg stall was still there.
But there was no Cheese Man.
Felt a bit sad.
Showed everyone where I used to work.
Got into a strop with the techno cooker due to it’s inability to boil eggs properly.
Walked to Arncliffe via Yew Cogar Scar. Got sunburnt.
Kicked ass at boules.
Gave the techno cooker a second chance.
Shouted at SirAlan and his lackeys.
(A digression – the summer I was 9 we had to go to Harrogate every other Sunday to visit my grandma in hospital. I remember two things – the Valley Gardens and being indignant that at the end of the year I got a really rubbish book from Sunday School, because my attendance was only 50%. Surely visiting your sick gran should’ve counted for something? I’m still aggrieved. I mean, I’d already earned ‘Plenty of Ponies’ and ‘Pony Club Camp’ but that year I ended up with some dumb book of prayers. With about 10 pages in it. Is that really what Jesus would've wanted?)
Anyway – I’n’t Harrogate posh?
Friday: Came home.
Labels: real life