Friday, December 17, 2004

8.10 Three Minutes Late
I'm standing on the platform in the dark, in the rain, pondering 'offer and acceptance'.
WAIT A MINUTE I'm not at work yet, and, even if I was - it's FRIDAY. For goodness sake get a grip girl.

The Pop Quiz questions have been delivered. HeadHoncho chortled, rubbed his hands with glee and resembled a malignant elf as he delightedly proceeded to read out selected extracts in his big "Quizmaster" voice.

Next door is the office of IneffectualManager. No wonder his team always wins.

Snow Patrol tonight! Rumour is the support is The Delays. But you can never be sure till you see the T-Shirts.

Perfect Lovesong - Divine Comedy
Fugitive Motel - Elbow
The Universal - Blur
Missing The War - Ben Folds Five
Taken For Granted - Astrid
The City Consumes Us - The Delgados
There's Too Much Love - Belle & Sebastian
Gleaming Auction - Snow Patrol

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Thursday, December 16, 2004

17.12 Five Minutes Late

Overused phrase of the day:
"Weeell...nothing's going to happen before Christmas is it?".

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

17.12 OnTime
Tonight the secret behind LaidBackCommuter's relaxed attitude is revealed. A 'swift half' between clocking off and catching the train. But, what with the new timetable situation, it is to be no more. Let's see if he retains his air of calm now.

HealthAndSafetyMan is on the train for the first time in ... twelve months or so? He looks much better. Last time I saw him he had just lost his wife to, as they say, "a long illness". He was looking after their two pre-teenage children with the help of her parents. There was already some tension.

Pointless Call Of The Day:
He: "I bought a latte at AnM6ServiceStation. It was only half coffee. The other half was froth."
Me: "mmmm?"
He: "It was all froth. I had to complain to a manager."
Me: "yeeeeees."
He:"Then I got my money back".
He:"I wanted to make a complaint about it. "
Me:"Well, thank you for that. "
Me: WTF?

Planet Telex - Radiohead
Optimistic - Radiohead
Open - The Cure
Boys Don't Cry - The Cure
66 Sleepers To Summer - Hope Of The States
Black Dollar Bills - Hope Of The States
Time Is Running Out - Muse
Hypermusic - Muse

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The End Of The World

17.12 On Time
In the new regime "FNW" is no more. We are ruled by "Northern" now and the timetable and uniforms have changed to prove it. TicketSellingGuy is delighted. Well, that old green-with-a-hint-of-purple jacket & pants set did nobody any favours. And you can't go wrong with navy can you?

What a cracking day it's been. I bought a fabulous skirt from the corset shop at lunchtime. I spoke to someone who really was called Chris Tingley. And, I got to use the: "With the greatest respect we're not talking about a kidney dialysis machine" line.

As in:

"But ... but what if I don't have my TV for Christmas?"

"Well, it wouldn't be the end of the world would it?"

"It is the end of the world if you've got children"

"With the greatest respect ... " *

Am I in a good mood because I listen to Gloom Rock, or do I listen to Gloom Rock because I'm in a good mood?

As Nick Hornby never said.

A Forest - The Cure
The Red, The White, The Black, The Blue - Hope Of The States
Feeling Good - Muse
A Letter To Elise - The Cure
My Iron Lung - Radiohead
The End Of The World - The Cure
Screenager - Muse
Sadness On My Back - Hope Of The States
Karma Police - Radiohead
To Wish Impossible Things - The Cure
Hysteria - Muse

*Ooops. I guess I forgot about trying to be nice.

Friday, December 10, 2004


17.17 On Time

Buddhists be aware: if you do something really, really, incredibly bad in this lifetime you will come back as a Leeds United Supporter and your next lifetime will be ruined.

There will be the occasional, brief, false dawn, but it will mostly be unparalleled despair. Just so you know. Don't say you weren't warned.

Anyway, don't listen to Sky, he was the man of the match.

The End Of The World - The Cure
Come Undone - the Delgados
Run - Snow Patrol
Zoo - Astrid
On - The Delays
Universal Traveller - Air
Fit But You Know It - The Streets
Jilted John - Jilted John


Thursday, December 09, 2004

8.13 On Time

Overheard in the Office:
"Sorry Perfect, but we won't be doing the sex shop tomorrow after all ... There are some handbags to pick up in Rossendale though."

Pop Quiz Question Watch: Ten down, five more to go.

Saturday - The Rabbits
I Need You Back - Ben Kweller
Hey Girl - The Delays
Everybody Come Down - The Delgados
Faded Beauty Queens - The Thrills
Bedshaped - Keane
Oh God - Stephen Duffy
Cannonball - Damien Rice
Kings Crossing - Elliott Smith
Nehimiah - Hope Of The States


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Commuter Love

7.35, 8.13, 17.17 - Don't know and won't care!
Having a day off to get over the earlier train traumas and do some Christmas shopping.

It would've been so much more convenient if Amazon just had a 'buy one of everything' button, as from a quick scan of my shopping basket, that would appear to be exactly what I've ended up doing. However, it still beats the pants off actually going round shops. With a few notable exceptions (e.g. Action Records, a selection of the Bookshops of New England, Ikea) I can't stay in a shop for more than four minutes and forty two seconds. It's a real condition, honest.

Listening to: My hot off the press "Divine Comedy Volume II" CD*, as it's the homemade gifts that really mean the most isn't it **?

(and Neil Hannon won't mind, will he?)

*Oh dear, sounds like The Frog Princess jumps a bit (appropriate, but irritating).
**I'm still not making any progress with the jigsaws, O.K.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Driver L8 (see what I did there? ... possibly not)

17.17 Thirty Minutes Late
This has been one of FNW's least glorious days. At least no one dared to ask for tickets this evening, which was a good thing seeing as I didn't have one. I feel that's fair enough, under the circumstances.

Anyway, I'm not going to rant about it. A pint of Guinness can do that to you.

I am going to relive a little vignette from earlier in the day (envisage wavy lines to indicate flashback)
LineManager:"Beth, do you fancy a job?"
Me: "?"
LineManager:"You're not going to HeadHonchos Christmas Quiz are you?"
ME (cautiously): "No. Once was enough"
LineManager"How do you fancy doing some of the questions then? HeadHoncho has been told all his questions are out of date. You'll get some time off to do it. Some pop music questions that someone like TrendyYoungThing could answer?"

So, I may have agreed.

There's a rumour going round to that effect anyway.


Can't Get There From Here. Not Today Anyway.

7.35 Doesn't stop. Rushes through with no lights on, presumably under the illusion that this makes it invisible to those waiting on the platform so they won't be cross about it.
8.13 Has disappeared. No one knows where it is. Well excuse me, but HOW do you lose a train? I know we only get two carriages at the best of times, but they are quite sizeable items. A train is not something that can slip down the back of the sofa or be hiding behind a tree.
It isn't the first time FNW have 'lost' one either, maybe they are trialing a prototype cloaking device for the Klingons? They are there, we just don't have the technology to see them. I wouldn't be surprised to discover they were in league with some evil empire.

All this means no music this morning. Instead, it means having to share a taxi with 5 fellow 'rail users' and the fear of polite conversation. Tell you what though, driving into work is rubbish. After what seems like an eternity we are only just the far side of PoshTown. Stopping every few hundred yards. Might as well. Be on. A bus.

The Dinner-Time Sanity Restoring List:
Cannonball - Damien Rice
Winter - Tori Amos
You Cut Her Hair - Tom McRae
An Open Book - Stephen Duffy
All My Life - Rosie Thomas
Verdi Cries - 10,000 Maniacs
Try Not To Breathe - REM
The Optimist - Turin Brakes


Thursday, December 02, 2004

Free Lunch?

22.49 (Wednesday) Fifteen Minutes Late
In return for distributing free stuff to the hapless punters good people of Preston (and how unbelievably difficult it is to give stuff away!) some BigWigs provided us with a very nice meal.

How likely was it that ScottishBlokeBigWig sitting opposite me would have attended the Somerset House concerts of Air, Royksopp and Lambchop? Or that he would like Lambchop? And Wilco, and Rufus Wainwright, and Grandaddy ... and XTC ?
And football. The house was well and truly on fire by this time, and when he dropped in the fact that his dad was second cousin to Peter Lorimer... Well.

I should've left it there. I should've walked away. But I was flushed with success. I thought it was a given.
So, I asked:"What about The West Wing?"
"Don't like it." vigourous head shaking. "Don't like it."
"Wha'.....? ho'....? wh'.....?" Bemused incomprehension.
"No, don't really get it." More head shaking. "Only seen a couple of episodes"
"Ah, well....."

He's got his weekend sorted now. Get Season One out of the library and GIVE IT A GO!

Oh, and SmellyColleague made an arse of himself. Which was nice.

The Crystal Lake - Grandaddy
From Wisconsin - Wolf Colonel
There's A Story In Your Voice - Elvis Costello
My Old Raincoat - E
One More Cup Of Coffee - The White Stripes
Timestretched - Divine Comedy
Sadness On My Back - Hope Of The States
No Ending - The Delays

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