Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Putting to the test all I’ve ever learned from watching “Buffy”, this morning’s task was to reclaim the cellar.
It didn’t take as long as you might’ve expected.
Demons don’t mess with me, oh no siree bob.

Is it Spring?

Get Happy – Elvis Costello

Monday, February 27, 2006

7:31? 8:10? Don't know, don't care.
I've got the day off work and spent a fantastic morning tidying cupboards.
Before you cry "Freak!" stop and think. What beats the feeling of throwing away out of date food and reorganising the cleaning products under the sink? Go on, be honest, there's not much is there?

Unless, afterwards, it's dancing round the North West's most efficient kitchen singing along to Cinerama, wrapped in a smug grin.

Which reminds me, I've recently discovered a phenomena I'm calling "The Wedding Present Effect". On the couple of occasions the "I'm from further North..." t-shirt has been aired in a pub situation it seems to have brought great pleasure to men of a certain age.

Both times I've been approached by blokes with faraway eyes and huge grins. Voices heavy with emotion they sigh: "David Gedge! I used to love him...is he still going?... did you see him?"
In telling them "Yes" I feel like an angel of hope.

Disco Volante - Cinerama
Torino - Cinerama
Take Fountain - The Wedding Present

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Gemma Hayes

Due to a cock up on the logistics front Tim has found himself double booked and, as a result, we have two tickets for Gemma Hayes at Manchester University on 6th March going spare.
Free to a good home. Email me if you're interested. No catch.

(You don't have to take me or anything.)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Faux Pas

17:12 On Time
A couple of things not to do...

While cleaning out the office kitchen do not throw out the tea bags you found loose and scattered, apparently at random, around the bottom of the cupboard as they belong to OldFishWife and they are meant to be like that.

Do not, later the same day, refer to the very idea of naming a baby "Brian" with incredulity and disparagement, having temporarily mislaid the memory
of OldFishWife having chosen that very name for her only son.

He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's The Pilot - Grandaddy
Fear No Pain - Willy Mason
Everyday - Slade
The Light 3000 - Schneider TM
Cello Song - Nick Drake
Get On With Your Life - Stina Nordenstam
Verdi Cries - 10,000 Maniacs
Homesick - Kings Of Convenience
From My Own True Love - The Decemberists

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

17.12 Twenty Minutes Late
It’s OK you can come out from under the table and behind the sofa now.
On the point of hitting 'send' with the application form and I’ve calmed down a bit. After all, what's the worst that can happen? It's a job I don't want. I just need to remember that.

Morale was lower than ever in the office.

You can tell by the way chocolate consumption is hitting an all time high. Even WalkingMedicalEncyclopedia is joining in, though it's playing havoc with her sugar levels. Today the drug of choice was the Walnut Whip.
I think I've been comfort listening too, seeing how it’s been ElvisElvisElvis for two days now.

Is there such a thing as a 'healthy obsession'?

Imperial Bedroom- Elvis Costello

Trust - Elvis Costello

Monday, February 20, 2006

I'll blow you a kiss, it should reach you tomorrow, as it flies from the other side of the world...

17: 12 Five Minutes Late
There are so many wrong things in my head at the moment I don't know where to start.
The feeling of having the rug pulled out from under my feet is probably the best place.

Because here I am, half full of Londis Chardonnay and Cadbury's Dairy Milk, lying to an application form for a job I really don't want and would be rubbish at anyway.

How did it come to this?

Sometimes I wish there was a space where I could be anonymous, where I could go and vent my feelings, and rage and scream and shout and be unreasonable without anyone who knew me being any the wiser or thinking any the less of me...but that's just a fantasy, right?
Because I'm grown up now and actions have consequences and a night of vodka has a morning after.

Blood and Chocolate - Elvis Costello


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

17.12 Seven Minutes Late

"Ladies and Gentlemen,
due to an accident with a pair of railway issue trousers on Preston station, I will be unable to inspect your tickets this evening.
Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause."

He is definitely my favourite conductor.

Manchester Girl - E
This Charming Man - The Smiths
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Butterfly Collector - The Jam
Mystery Dance ('My Aim Is True' version) - Elvis Costello
Hot Burrito #1 - Flying Burrito Brothers
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd
After The Goldrush - Prelude


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Do I Love You? Yes! I Love You...

7.31 On Time
In a formative year (it was long ago and far away) I overheard three conversations which, albeit in a backhanded kind of way, disprove the adage about eavesdroppers never hearing any good of themselves.

"She’d be quite pretty if she wasn’t so fat”
“She’s quite funny, once you get to know her”
“She’s not very romantic”

The last was from my (then) best friend, during a careers lesson where we were supposed to be identifying other peoples’ strengths & weakness. I’m still not sure what job my lack of romance was disqualifying me from, but I suppose she was right.

Yesterday I talked ZebedeeTheReceptionist out of sending her new(ish) bloke red roses at his place of work.

Did I do right, or was it just my unromantic soul speaking?

It’s grey, it’s wet, it’s February.
Everyone on the train (probably myself included) smells of wet dog.
The lights of the multi storey car park fizz like sparklers through the raindrops on the windowpane.
This morning was made for The Blue Nile.

Tinseltown In The Rain
Let’s Go Out Tonight
Automobile Noise
From A Late Night Train
A Walk Across The Rooftops
Headlights On The Parade
Soul Boy

Monday, February 13, 2006

8.10 Cancelled. (Doors wouldn't shut)
9.06 Ten Minutes Late.
What with the car undergoing major surgery and having to spend the night in intensive care it seems likely that I won't be getting my Valentine’s Day Surprise .

Never mind. Sometimes it really is the thought that counts.

Continuing the romantic theme, we had an urgent complaint about a street vendor selling boxes of out of date chocolates for £1, just up the road from the office.
I can confirm that LineManager acted swiftly, and that the chocolates were delicious.
Well…all except the one Lovely described as looking “like a throbbing phallus”.

That one’s still in the box.

Ever Fallen in Love (with someone you shouldn't have) - The Buzzcocks
Electricity – Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
I Can’t Stand Up For Falling Down – Elvis Costello
Quick, Before It Melts - Cinerama
Headlights On The Parade – Blue Nile
Little Fluffy Clouds – The Orb
O Superman – Lori Anderson
At Seventeen – Janis Ian

Friday, February 10, 2006

17.12 On Time
Due to the fact that I was sleeping with the enemy at the time, I forgot to gloat about this!

Anchorage - Michelle Shocked
Delicate Hands - The Long Winters
Ocean Breathes Salty - Modest Mouse
16 Military Wives - The Decemberists
Pretty Dress - Rosie Thomas
Secret Someones - Laura Veirs
Drowned - Halloween, Alaska
I Wouldn't Miss It For The World - Jonathan Rice
There's A Light Beyong These Woods... - Nanci Griffith

Thursday, February 09, 2006

17.12 On Time
I think I might be prejudiced.
A Slovakian came into the office for some advice today.
I allowed him to talk about his faulty laptop for more than twenty minutes as I sat smiling encouragement, mesmorised by his wonderful accent.

If he'd been from Skelmersdale I'd have had him out the door in under five.

Rabbit Fur Coat - Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins

Friday, February 03, 2006

17.12 On Time
LineManager has gone native.
Two days in Barrow and you'd think the A590 was the road to Damascus.

Meanwhile at lunchtime, being dutiful,ThesaurusBoy picked up someone else's ringing phone.
"...Oh, hello IneffectualManager... No, she's not at her desk at the moment, could I take...hang on a minute...you're in reception aren't you? I can see you through the door!...erm...why didn't you just come in..?"

I suspect it was a trap to see if we would pass or fail the conscientiousness test.

Lazy Line Painter Jane
The Rollercoaster Ride
The Boy With The Arab Strap
The Model
The Wrong Girl
Woman's Realm
There's Too Much Love
She's Losing It

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