Friday, August 31, 2007

17.12 On Time
Dispensing relationship advice is not my forte.
"How to get a relationship started" advice is possibly the subject on which I am least qualified to speak.

I can recall only ever employing three methods as far as what might crudely be termed 'trying to get off with somebody' is concerned:

Method One: Stare at them. Follow them in order to stare at them some more. Learn their habits and be in places you know they will be before they get there, so you can stare at them when they arrive. Follow them when they leave. (This was OK in the Seventies, but these days can be called 'Stalking' so be careful) If they never once look in your direction, ever, it means they love you, but are too shy to say so. Give it more time.
Method Two: Get drunk, launch yourself in their direction.
MethodThree: Write to them.

Oh, there was that one time I employed the straightforward 'ring them up and ask them out' but at least with the others I've had a modicum of success. Although Method One has never worked unless it was in conjunction with Methods Two or Three.

ThesaurusBoy would probably do well to ignore my suggestions, although I like to think I could come up with something a bit more encouraging than: "So, do you think you'll ever meet anybody else then?"

Dressed Up Like Nebraska - Josh Rouse


Thursday, August 30, 2007

17.12 On Time
"What's my mobile number?... oh, I don't know... I'll have to ask my wife."

Noises off, whilst he fumbles with the receiver and mutters, followed by more mumbling and then a defeated sigh.

"Sorry. She's Thai. She can't understand a word I say."

This is ThesaurusBoy's story, not mine. Credit where it's due.

So Long - Jason Anderson
Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley
They Don't Know - Ben Gibbard
Probably - Kevine Devine
Hate It Here - Wilco
America - Simon & Garfunkel
Time Is A Lion - Joe Henry


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

17.12 Ten Minutes Late
The innocent question: "So, anyway, how are you?"

Feeling detached - short of sleep - all out of dreams. Waiting for something else to come along. The 'something' that will 'turn up' as people forever promise. Wondering how to make it happen. Things are out of my control. I'm not good with things I can't control.

I'm sleepwalking. On the edge, right up to the brink, aware of the drop but unable to stop. I'll wake up looking for trouble; asking for trouble. Interfering - poking and prodding - stirring, agitating, meddling, sowing the seeds and waiting, waiting, waiting ... for something, anything, to happen.

But if it won't? If it doesn't? Wondering if it's a matter of time before l put my fingers in the flame just to be sure the flame's still alight. I need my fingers burning on a fairly regular basis.

But honestly?

"I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Western Skies - Roddy Frame


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

"I'm falling for you"

17.12 On Time
I spent all day wishing my life away, watching the clock, waiting for time to pass so I could escape and, at last, be alone with my jukebox.

To check my ticket the conductor had to interrupt an intimate moment by waving his hand in front of my face. I was so lost in the playlist it was almost embarrassing. It's a relief really, I was starting to think I'd lost the feeling. Worry that I'd become jaded, stale, or (thinking the unthinkable) that I'd finally grown out of it.

But no. There's almost too much for my ears to take, but Lastfm is making me fall in love all over again. That and mp3 bloggers. If you spend enough time flitting from mp3 blog to mp3 blog, you can get anything you want.

(Exceptin' "Ring of Bright Water" by Val Doonican.)

Tiny Voices - Joe Henry
Flyin' Shoes - Townes Van Zandt
Geisha - Ben Weaver
Town - Richard Buckner
Long Black Limousine - Gram Parsons
Either Way - Wilco
Probably - Kevin Devine
Boy With A Coin - Iron & Wine
They Don't Know - Ben Gibbard


If I Thought You'd Ever Change Your Mind

8.10 On Time
We put it off all weekend. It became inevitable. Morrisons: Bank Holiday Monday.

For speed and efficiency we have separate trolleys and separate lists. We rendezvous by the jalapenos. There is no preamble: "'I will bring you flowers'... What's that about? 'I will bring you flowers' what are they playing that for?" He looks outraged.

I look less glum: "Yeah! it's years since I heard that!" (I sing) "'wrapped in a box, and tied with a yellow bow, I will bring you sunny days...da di da ' Who did that?"

"I don't know. Drippy Hippie dippy rubbish ... I wrote it down"

(He waves his list at me, in case I am in any doubt.)

I'm much less glum now, and wave my list back.

"So did I!"

These are the moments when you know you are with The Right One.

I Want You To Want Me - Lobo
Sad Sweet Dreamer - Sweet Sensation
Day Dreamer - David Cassidy
Driving Away From Home - It's Immaterial
Hey, Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
Oblivious - Aztec Camera
The Most Beautiful Girl In The World - Charlie Rich
Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Neil Diamond


Friday, August 24, 2007

17.12 On Time
One of my earliest brushes with disillusionment was when my mum & dad came back from the pub one Saturday night with John Noakes' autograph on an empty Player's No 6 packet.

He was supposed to be walking the Pennine Way at the time.

He was supposed to be sleeping in a tent with Shep. That's what the telly showed us - him, wet, cold and miserable, roughing it in the inhospitable, bleak moorland of the backbone of England. Not propping up bars and spending the night in the closest thing to luxury accommodation you could find in Yorkshire in the Seventies.

I think my mum felt as betrayed as I did. It became a staple family anecdote for years afterwards. "Remember that time we saw John Noakes in The Falcon?"

Given the chance, people will always let you down.

The Execution Of All Things - Rilo Kiley


Thursday, August 23, 2007

"When you get sober, will you get kinder?"

7.31 Five Minutes Late
I saw him on the High Street.

We walked towards each other with that 'I know you from somewhere but I can't quite place you' smile. The penny dropped and I stopped dead at the same time as he turned back and said: "It's you! How are you? What are you up to?"

Five minutes later we were in a cafe talking till the coffee went cold. And after that, although it was still indecently early, The Royal Shepherd. We talked through most of the afternoon and several pints of cider. We talked in exactly the same way we had when we went to the pub, on our own, after class.

That was before I went and spoiled it by ringing him up and asking him if he fancied, maybe, going out for a drink during the Christmas holidays? And he had the grace to sound a little uncomfortable as he told me that, when he'd said he wasn't married what he, maybe, should have added was: "I do live with my girlfriend though".

He missed a few evenings in the New Year and then, after February half term, stopped coming altogether. 'Pressure of work' the tutor said.

So, it was especially nice to have that chat. Straighten a few things out.

Under The Blacklight - Rilo Kiley


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"On a clear day, I can read your mind"

16.12 Seven Minutes Late
The combination of a late night, Red Bull excess and no breakfast which produced a pleasing, slightly spacey, slightly out of it, tiredness-buzz earlier is long gone.
Now things are happening around me in time lapse, in a language I can't understand.

Think I’m suffering from ‘Everything’s Shit But Nothing’s Wrong’ syndrome.

Under The Blacklight - Rilo Kiley


"You got your troubles, I got mine..."

7.31 On Time
I could do with a lot more nights like last night but not so many days like today.

Today I will have to concentrate on explaining to ExLineManager how I have screwed up and asking him to bail me out of the mess that I have made. Next I will be ringing up a person I like a lot to explain how I won’t take it personally if they want to complain about me.

Frankly, I would rather be thinking about Jenny Lewis. Even in the spangly tights.

Under The Blacklight - Rilo Kiley

Labels: ,

Monday, August 20, 2007

"She daydreams of forbidden sins..."

17.12 Ten Minutes Late

But doesn't everyone?

I Know Very Well How I Got My Name - Colin Meloy
Queen Anne - Wedding Present
Secret Smile - Semisonic
Walk Away Renee - The Four Tops
The National Anthem - Radiohead
Tie Up My Hands - Starsailor
Where's The Playground Susie - Glen Campbell
My Uptight Life - Teenage Fanclub
County Darkness - Elvis Costello

Labels: ,

Saturday, August 18, 2007

It's getting warmer.


Friday, August 17, 2007

8.10 On Time
Love is: You, a vegetarian, making a special trip to the shops to buy Spam, because you know it will cheer me up.


Alalakay - Mamadou Diabate
Tear Stained Eye - Son Volt
Losing My Religion -REM
Woman Driving, Man Sleeping - Eels
Homeless - Loudon Wainwright III
Lucky - Radiohead
Funny Valentine - Elvis Costello
Ever Fallen In Love...- Buzzcocks


Thursday, August 16, 2007

7.31 On Time
For no real reason I was reminded of a conversation overheard in The Famous Cafe last time I visited the place I still think of as 'home'.

Two ladies of mature years were discussing what life had thrown at them recently.
One related how her ninety year old mother had spent some time in hospital and had been unable to sleep due to her ward being next to the maternity unit where, apparently, the screaming was pretty much non-stop.

They shook their heads and reflected on this disappointing lack of stoicism until her friend put the matter beyond doubt: "I didn't scream when I had our Susan. There were no point".

The Lost Riots - Hope Of The States


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

7.31 On time
In the cobwebby past of the early Eighties when I was wearing a Duffle coat, a pair of pink pumps and the tightest jeans I've ever got into; nodding off during film studies and having my sociology notes copied by a girl who would later become known as 'Chloe', there was a MiddleAgedBeforeHisTime Young Conservative who, during his first week in Halls, had his parents deliver unto him a van load of furniture including, most preposterously, a carpet.

I don't know why the idea of taking your own carpet to college struck me as so ridiculous, after all I had 'Pink Teddy' so was hardly in a position to cast the first stone.

Anyway, in the unlikely event of the dark wood cabinets and outrageous carpet proving an insufficient lure he also had a home-taped Easy Listening Cassette to assist him with his stated aim: the Seduction of the Young Ladies.

Being the witty types that we were, we mockingly dubbed it "Stale Eight".

We were so funny.

The reason any of this is in my head at all is that I'm currently hearing Boards Of Canada and wondering if this would be the 'Stale Eight' of it's time?

A worrying thought. But not so worrying as the fact that I was once only half a cider away from snogging Carpet Boy.

Oh the shame. I shudder. And move on.

A Chance Counsel - Richard Buckner
Company - Rickie Lee Jones
Olsen - Boards Of Canada
Pam Berry - The Shins
Deadweight On Velveteen - Jose Gonzales
Bordello Kind Of Guy - Gogol Bordello
Modern Way - Kaiser Chiefs


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

16.12 On Time
Had a quick chat with "Chick Checkin' Phil". He's sanguine about his media image, but less so about OldFishWife's reaction to it. I'm attributing this to the Thespians fear of the cutting room floor.

Also chatted with Lovely about one of the reasons he can't come out to play on Friday night.
Really don't know what to think. Is he a crazy delusional person who is storing up trouble? Or am I just envious of the excitement?

Although, I am quite excited about the new file I've invented which is called "It's Up To Them Now" and is where all the things that are not actually sorted out, but where it's not actually up to me to do anything about any of it, go. There are quite a lot of things fitting into this category at the moment.

Why has everyone suddenly started using coloured paper clips? They are an office abomination.

84,000 Different Delusions - Shawn Colvin
Rainbows In The Dark - Tilly & The Wall
Kitchen TV - Astrid
Pen & Notebook - Camera Obscura
Prison On Route 41 - Iron & Wine/Calexico
23 - Blonde Redhead
Gold Rush Brides - 10,000 Maniacs


Monday, August 13, 2007

It's funny the first time

Right, let's get it over with:

"And the weather ... Over the weekend the country finally enjoyed some seasonally high temperatures. Except in Leeds, where it's -12".


8.10 On Time
On Friday, for the first time in an age, I swam a mile.
It felt fantastic and reminded me, yet again, of why I love to swim.

Once upon a time I swam a mile three or four times a week.
Then two or three.
Then at least once.
Now - once in a blue moon.

I sense a resolution approaching.
One more promise to myself that I'll break and then feel bad about breaking.

Show Your Bones - Yeah Yeah Yeahs


Friday, August 10, 2007

Granada Reports: Oh dear.

Labels: ,

17.12 On Time
Missed the 16.12 due to the entertaining (though inconvenient) Hey!-The-folder-of-standard-letters (upon which we have been encouraged to depend) has-been-accidentally-deleted! drama. It will be 'restored' on Monday morning, apparently. Although it's probably not worth turning up for work early.

It was much more amusing than Wednesday's combustible confrontation between ExLineManager and ... I'veReallyRunOutOfNamesForHim, but ... you know who I mean. That was a bit scary, and very inappropriate, and I can't for the life of me remember what it was about but people will speak of it for months.

In 'Good News' - a miracle happened.
The Office Kitchen remained clean all week.
No coffee stains on the work top, no used tea-bags in the sink, no porridge clogged plug hole, no inexplicably unemptied washing-up bowls full of tepid, dirty water. Unfortunately, so many people have been on leave that it will be impossible to conclusively identify the culprit/s.

Oh. And we're planning some passive resistance.

Hope Leanne had a relaxing holiday.

Here Comes The Rumour Mill - The Young Knives
Music When The Lights Go Out - The Libertines
Style - The Lemonheads
Cemetery Gates - The Smiths
Turn A Square - The Shins
Route - Son Volt
Late Night Conversation - Josh Rouse
Lady Menphis - Johnathan Rice


Thursday, August 09, 2007

16.12 On Time
A week without rain at last.
A skinny, sinewy man. Standing shirtless on a trailer of bales.

An unexpected rush of memory, of nostalgia for summer nights under cool white cotton. Lying in bed with the curtains billowing (the summer curtains: clusters of small pink flowers, a 50's fabric). Watching for stars in the pale summer sky and listening for my Dad coming home from Haytiming.

Paper Sky - Ben Weaver


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

16.12 On Time
At the start of the conversation he was prickly and hostile, but I won him round with my soothing "I'm sure it was a misunderstanding, let's just get it sorted out now, shall we?" approach.
(Sometimes my disingenuity knows no bounds. I should be ashamed.)

Trouble is, once we were friends he wanted to explain everything:"Mr X drove a very hard bargain you know, he beat the price down by £400." A second hand car dealer with 40 years experience came out second best in price negotiations?
He explained that as well: "Mr X is a very .. clever man... "

He went on to imply that Mr X would try to pull the wool over my eyes - which he may well do, but do you know what? I really didn't care anymore.

"I remember him very well, even though it was last year. He's..."

I sensed something troubling him.
"He's...a... "
He appeared to be struggling for the right words.
"... a Homosexual-Type man"

He sounded mortified.

So, the source of his chagrin was not me harping on about some dodgy exhaust, it was about him being bested in a business deal by a Homosexual-Type man.

Imagine if that got out. He'd be finished in Wigan.

He Tried To Escape - Midlake
Drunk Kid Catholic - Bright Eyes
Already Dead - Beck
So Sorry - Feist
Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
I Turn My Camera On - Spoon


Monday, August 06, 2007

16.12 Five Minutes Late
Everyone in the Department found it comical that, with over two decades of experience, man and boy, WalkingMedicalEncyclopedia was referred to as a "trainee".

Tho', when I say 'everyone', maybe I mean all but one.

Aside from that, not much to laugh at.

Neon Bible - Arcade Fire


7.31 On Time
"It'll be a real Burnley Wedding" Said GirlieBoss, a little ruefully, a couple of weeks ago. As it happened, there was no brawling or bawling, and everything ran like clockwork.

The Bride's seven year old nephew read "These I Can Promise" and burly men (and me) were reduced to tears - that kid was good!

The Bride's Polish Grandma was inscrutable, and the Best Man had an unexpected attack of nerves (or taste?) and curtailed his speech. It was only the fifth wedding I've ever been to, but it was the best.

The only tiny hitch appeared to be the absence of the Official Photographer's dinner. Apparently Chef had been instructed to prepare three vegetarian meals, and these had already been claimed and scoffed by three bona fide vegetarians higher up the pecking order. The waitress apologised profusely, then the waiter apologised profusely, but at the end of the apologising it didn't seem as if Chef was all that hot on improvisation. Luckily, the Official Photographer is more of a dancer than a diner.

Come On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners

December '63 (O What A Night ) - The Four Seasons
Baggy Trousers - Madness
Going Underground - The Jam
99 Red Balloons - Nena
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
Take On Me - A-Ha


Thursday, August 02, 2007

17.12 On Time
Had a meeting about Projects with ExLineManager & Madam this morning.
Couldn't work out if I was gooseberry or chaperone. Either way, my contribution was negligible. Having come over a bit allergic and popped a couple of benadryl first thing, I lost the powers of speech and lucid thought for a few hours.

Normally no one would notice, but the gaps which should have been filled by me saying "and this is the reason why that won't work" were conspicuous.

And, afterwards, I was too late to save Leanne from the man with the smelly pouffe. Sorry.

Overthrown - Tom McRae
Leaders Of The Free World - Elbow
The Recruited Collier - Kate Rusby
A Day, Another Day - The Strange Death Of Liberal England
I Go Down - Leaves
All Sparks - Editors
Better Do Better - Hard Fi


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I prefer it all to be out in the open...

8.10 On Time
The Responsible Drinking Plan that Charlie & I put in place went out the window when the bottle of wine that was supposed to last all night was gone by half six.

Consequently I have a belter of a hangover, but have just about got over my disappointment that I was right and Lovely won't be sharing a massive lottery win with us after all.

Sexuality - Billy Bragg
Yesterday Threw Everything At Me - Athlete
Gin Soaked Boy - Divine Comedy

Boy or Girl - Astrid
Girls & Boys - Blur
Seeing Other People - Belle & Sebastian
Couldn't You Tell? - BC Camplight


22.51 On Time
Has cake. Eats cake. Still loses weight!
Lucky bastard!!!


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?